Remembering the past, thinking about the future I've wanted to write an intro specifically for the transpassion site. Because trans people, at least the ones I knew, were for more accepting and far less troubled by intersex people than any others. Aye, I'm intersex.
It's my belief I'd find a friend who would understand how I both fit and don't fit into the male/female worlds. Most people, even in the gay community, have assumed I fit somewhere in the middle. This is true to some extent, but it's more than that, the trans people I knew, understood that.
Intros to these friendship/romance websites are meant to be happy, positive and inviting. I think they should be honest. Even if it isn't entirely happy and positive. Though I believe this is positive because it's honest and ends with hope. Read on, and see for yourself...
It's been years since I've left the gay community for its open rejection, ridicule, abuse and exploitation of trans people and their complete ignorance of the intersex. I was once a VP of one of the oldest GLB organizations in my state. I even successfully petitioned for the inclusion of I for intersex about 12,13 years ago. Not that it helped. Trans and Intersex were still seen as outsiders for various reasons. Honestly I don't see much change.
During a prolonged absence, I returned to find a trans member had been harassed until she left the women's rap group. The board did nothing, despite complaints by her and many of the men in the organization (cheers to the gay boys). Some weeks later I found out she committed suicide. I watched as people (wanker and gobs---es really) treated it like an entertaining bit of trivia. I (and many of the gay boys) quietly left and never returned. I quit the other groups I was part of as well. I never looked back. That was 13 years ago, I've been alone ever since, too angry to be around anyone. Despite loneliness.
It's said that what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, that time heals all wounds. The sayings forgets to mentions the scars that remain. There to remind us not to make the same mistakes twice.
So here I am, alone and wishing I had a friend. I miss friendship more than anything else. I don't want a lover, I don't want sex. I want something to hang out with, to watch old movies with. Talk rubbish with, go bowling, have a girls and/or boys night out. I want a friend that understand what I mean when I say I want someone I can be little with. To remember a moment in time, when all was good and safe, and I had a future filled with happiness and hope. When I say I want someone I can be little with, people just look at me in confusion or tell me I need to grow up or see a counselor.
These friendship/romance websites present the illusion friendships and romance can be found there. All I've gotten were offers for t-------es or curiosity sex. The list of people I've blocked is HUGE!
Despite all the above. I have to believe there's someone out there.
So... if you're into sci fi (a big ol' nerd), comedy, horror, mysteries, obscure and forgotten classic movies (Nancy Drew Reporter 1939 for example). Old spooky houses, pumpkins, Halloween and yard sales. If you enjoy extreme weather, sitting by a window watching thunderstorms. Taking the proverbial long walks, sitting silently on a beach, listening to, and watching the waves roll in and out. If you like technology, and antiques. If you have flights of fem and moments of butch. If you love gardening, animals, children and 80s music. If you're NOT willing to give up on life or yourself. If you have a strong moral standard, value and honour real friendships. If you are smoke, drink and drug free (especially drug free). If you live in NJ or close enough... send me an email and be patient. I'm rusty and cautious, and I take time to do things. Especially when getting to know someone.
With eternal hope,
The Solitary Traveler.