Dating pre-op? Possible? Plausible?

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Jeraxari - Well, there are online courses you can take for changing your voice, if you haven't tried them already, I actually saw one on a link on this site, but since I had no interest in doing it, I never committed it to memory I'm afraid. You may want to experiment with stuff like that before trying actual throat surgery. To much can go wrong for that to be anything other than a last resort.

The problem many men have with dating within the transgender community I think is, as you touched upon in your posts would be that where as the mtf feels that she is 100% woman, the man courting them is looking for that 'little something extra' '-------' type you mentioned. Looking to fulfill a fantasy or fet--- they saw on some wacky ----o.

Look for a man who appreciates feminine behavior, someone who wants the woman you are. I personally feel (some) women in the transgender community are the last ones who actually still know how to be women and that's what I admire, not the ts/tg thing.

I hope you find a boy that will love you for who you are. Happy hunting! Hope I didn't miss your point.

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Ah -HA!! Found it!

Voice feminization

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`I agree with caveman about the feminine behavior comment.

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jeraxari wrote: So I was wondering about dating, and I've sorta been actively looking.
I've gotten some interesting replies from people, though sadly most way older than me, the ones my age only want S-- and as fun as it sounds and as hot as they are I'd want something more.

Right now I look pretty feminine, good, however my voice is super deep, which sucks balls. (It's their fault!), but I plan to get vocal surgery in Korea for that ,but my reason mentioning I feel so ugly talking to people I've met while dressed with my voice..But I can't seem to alter my tone enough to get any decent sounds. So thats one ackward point, and then theres the whole fact of still having a -----.

Alot of ltr's I've seen pre op's have seem to end when they get the surgery because alot of the time their boyfriends are attracted to/se---lly want sort of a ------- kind of thing, i mean if you like that, thats you.. keep it, but some people (like my self ) want to go all the way. And that would be a change in the bedroom..
I don't know,
Has anyone had any real luck dating pre-op?

I had one guy that was like the epitome of what I'm attracted to, financially stable, my age and funny respond. He even didn't mind my voice..We skyped one night all night, after I got home from partying, but..It just stopped. The next day texts were slow, and after that just kinda halted to no communication. It messed with my psyche a little but I'm over it..
But it was a sad experience for me, lol. I don't usually get hopeful, but I let my guard down.



I'm in the same situation. If you meet men half way, they pull away. Unfortunatly they will only chase a moving bunny. It's annoying.

[godzillaeyes1]

jeraxari wrote: `Oh geeze..Interestings posts but..uhm..Straying off topic.
lol.
Can some one share their dating experiences? I'm sure that'll be interesting.
I actually met a really cool guy, and went to a club with him and it was really fun. He was nice, seemed like he had everything planned out with his life, really outgoing..But it seems like it was just..a one time thing. It was his first time at the club and my second time, ( its a gay/lesb club but really fun and cool place ) hes made some friends there, and made alot more his second trip.
He seemed really into me, so it seems only natural i feel kind of a longing to go out again but he went recently and didn't suggest me comming with him, was weird. Had fun though and met more people there, I herd.
I donno.
This dating thing is so complicated, I'm used to being secure and understanding people and their urges/wants and understanding them psychologically but that was usually in relation to heterosexual things. Dealing with dating and meeting people as a CD TG etc it's adding a whole new level of complication and unknown and it's hard for me to become comfortable.
I'm not comfortable with my self, fully yet, i'm getting used to being able to do things I couldn't before because I was locked in a close minded house hold for the last 17 years, but I am pretty confident and I guess it'll just have to take time..



But anyways, on topic..Share dating experiences!




Dating is tough, even for cisgender men and women who are serious about relationships. One friend on a social network site said it's game for alot of people, almost like legalized prostitution, where the men are mostly looking for S-- and women are looking for money or a taste of the fine life. Though nowadays, it seems like some of the men are looking for someone to subsidize financially as well, or show them the finer things life, while getting freebie s--.

For me, I'm a pansexual, which means I don't have preference for gender or orientation. Moreover, I might be an extreme case - because I also don't have preference race, religion,body size, body parts,height, social status, and etc. People often throw the "she'll ---- anything" or "she's desperate." When in reality, I can also be very picky about who I let into my life, because I've been hurt so much by people in the past.

I only dating or having s----l acts with men in 2009. Alot of time, men tend to be very distant and insensitive creature (not all).Even chasers don't necessarily come off very sophisticated or sensitive to our situations (at least not on the surface). In my personal life, I even came to the conclusion that it may be impossible to have a relationship with chaser or straight man who might be slight homophobic/transphobic. My first male fling and my first boyfriend have made it inevitably harder for other (straight or straight-acting) men to date me. I always get the sense that these men are very guarded and emotionally dead, but are also looking for a different kind of s----l experience. I'm not attracted to a straight person, just because they're straight...I don't see the logical reason of putting heterosexual men or women on a pedestal, sort of like I don't put races/ethnic groups or if someone is rich. You are just another man or woman until otherwise.

That's one problem, men might have with me, I'm pretty much turned off when a random man or guy I just met starts to move very quickly towards S-- talk. I shut down like a $4.00 generator on a 100 degree afternoon. My energy level is typically zapped, as I become more apathetic and very much a sarcastic and joking type. "I'm sure your shaft is wonderful in an empty mine that's not mine." Even when men are genuinely attracted to me, or even into transsexuals or black women. I don't feel electricity towards them. One guy even said to me what do you hate about (t) chasers, they've got their preference, like you and everyone else does. They actually enjoy transsexual women, unlike alot of men and are comfortable with it. My response was simply, I like people who are love me and care for me regardless of all that.


For some odd reason, I've always had a slight longing for women, even though I wasn't happy or comfortable with my body as a cisgender man. Even as a heterosexual (mostly) man with a gender disorder to a pre-op trans woman looking for surgeries, most of the people who tend to understand or not shy away from tend to be other transpeople, LGBT, and cisgender women (in general). I feel more warmth and comfortable with women. The women I met and who grow onto me sometimes, aren't afraid to tell me that I am beautiful (men will but not where people can hear it, especially if they know someone might read me, they aren't afraid to show public affection (holding hands or being playful with me in private or public), and are more comfortable with themselves and their s----lity.

Oftentimes, I can say the same for openly bisexual men and gay men, but more times than not they tend to be attracted to other men or in the case bisexual men sometimes are only into cisgender men and women. I'm

It's kind of weird to see people's views on transsexual women and their s----lity. Everyone used to for some odd reason think that I only dated men or was some sort of c--- slave. When in reality, I'm not the biggest fan in the world of men or their c----, unless I have some kind of affinity for them as individual.It's much harder to trust men in relationships, while they can be needy in all sorts of ways (not only se---lly). People often tend to stick transsexual women in the gay men category. When I first started transitioning, it sort of got on my nerves, when people didn't fully understand what a transsexual and what it's not. Like someone asked me one day, how come I didn't go to a particular club to be with other men who are like myself, which is mostly for gay/bi s----l men. I told her I was a woman, but I wouldn't mind going there for a fun night with my friends, both men and women. She kept insisting that I could never be a real woman...I don't know why people want me to fit into the gay man label or transsexual label, more so than a woman.

Some of my co-workers and friends are and were shocked when I said I prefer women on average and man would almost have to be exceptionally different from most men. Over the last two years, I've only had crush on one guy -- he was Japanese, very child-like (older than me though), very sensitive, goofy, considerate, gregarious, respectful, and asexual. So a relationship would've been impossible,especially since I don't think I was his type. I loved all those things about him, though one thing I really respected about him also was he didn't wear his s----lity on his sleeve, like alot of heterosexual and lGBT people do. They make it a point to let people know the kind of people that they are sleeping with or how many people they are sleeping. People are kind weary of me, when they don't see me talking or flirting with men. Showing me getting all hot and bother, because I see an attractive man. One day, we were looking at different facebook pages. I have crossdresser friend on facebook, and he is friends with alot men who are very well-endowed and physically fit. My co-workers male and female were going crazy over those pictures. I'm like they are just pictures.



Yes, I do feel like a weirdo.

[benher]

`Well I have read this with much interest...!!
I was with my partner for 22 yrs + , both pre-op and post-op/... we split unfortunately almost two yrs ago now.. (think this was due to her having realized that falling in love with the person who accepts, cares for you, loves and accepts you unconditionally is a pre-requisite of just how it is at times... It is tough being a ts... and there are many processes you have to go through.
I am totally a Lesbian.. I ONLY like woman,, DO NOT like nob of any kind and DID NOT see my partner in any way male.. even when she still had her -----..!
I am offended by guys who seem to think, or anyone for that matter who seem to think that ts, still with their bits are somehow in any shape of form male... It is offensive to treat them in any other way other than who they are... FEMALE..! sorry i had to write as i get so annoyed at those who do not understand that being ts, isn't some holiday, some moment, some fun-time... it is a transition that takes years and sometimes decades to achieve and not with ease either... it is a tough road and those who travel it, DO NOT have it easy... no matter how they be or manage with their transition...!
Rant over...!!
Live, learn and grow...!!! X

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Met dated fell in love with a wonderful pre op woman. She had been saving for quite a while before we met. We moved in together and just lived as a normal couple and continued saving till we could go. Neither of us had any real interest in her “thing” as she called it LOL also being on HRT for 25 years was pretty non functional anyway and that was fine by me.
One of the hardest parts for both of us was waiting for her to heal up OMG we were both soooooo wanting to try out the new plumbing lmao Towards the end I think we drove the clinic nuts about when we could try it LOL. We were together post op for about a year planning a wedding and future dreams when she passed very suddenly.
There are some of us who are looking for a T/S GF for many other reasons than a ----- if you plan on being post op one day find the right guy but also don’t be thinking that’s going to solve a lot of problems in most cases it doesn’t change much. You still have to tell the guy sooner or later if he doesn’t already know. From what I have seen from several pre op women I know who are now post your email counts and dating opportunities will go down after SRS and if your with a guy pre op that’s interested in your ----- there is a high probability it won’t last after your SRS so if you plan on surgery make sure he is totally aware and ok with it.

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`I have a number of friends who dated (and are still dating) pre op. But it seems the secret to a lasting relationship is sacrifice and caring on both parts, so you might be looking in the wrong place if you are just in a community that fetishizes you. Not to say that they can't be nice, loving, good people, but you are starting off by presenting "I can fulfill a fet--- you have", and that's a hard attitude to change. Case in point, the d--- pic someone just sent me while I was trying to get to know them.

Also, side note, don't be so down on yourself! Confidence is attractive, way more so than voices

[memory]

`Girl send me an email on here when ya get a chance I may be able to help voice train you! I used to have a voice deeper than yours was I bet.... . disgusting. Now whenever I play viideogames online or cam with someone they always tell me something to the effect that I sound super adorable! xD So surgery is not even needed. I got to the point of not even being able to talk in a male voice without sounding like im trying too hard. lmao.
so msg me! perhaps we can Skype :3