pre op ftms

[(deleted)]

i am transactor i am a pre op ftm i am on testosterone therapy and i have gender identity and psyco thearpy i have been living full time as a guy for going on three years i have been on testosterone for 14 months and i have had a lot of bodily changes

my voice has dropped, i have new growth of body hair and faical hair i have had a 1.5 in growth in my clitorous i have completely stop menstruation i have been able to increase my body strenghth i have lost a lot of fat from my hips and butt some of wich has gone to my belly but that is ok with me i have gained weight in muscle mass

most of my family dont recongnize my new deaper voice
i had a friend pull on my three new chin hairs

when people ask me what i have done i tell them with the magic of medicine i have become a new man
some people have asked me how old i am because i look like i am about fourteen but in real life i am 21
i tell them that i have gone through with female puberty menopause and male puberty in a matter of a few short years yes it can be hard to do but if your truly a transsexual you will do any thing to make your brain and body match

here is a way to help people change their use of pronouns for you tell them that if they call you by the incorect pronoun you will charge them a quater every time they mess up let the people know you mean bisness and be firm about the quater theory and each time some one calls you by the corect pronoun congraduate them for being correct with their choice of words to discrib you that is what i have done and i keep a tally of who makes the incorect pronoun usage and i let them know that ok your up to such and such of an amount that they owe you and they will learn to use the right words around you because they could end up broke and if that doesnt work make a tally board for each perso you deal with on a daily basis and show them the tallys and explaine how you feel when they use the incorect pronoun

more info to come

ftm boi

[(deleted)]

`I dont agree with the quarter theory. if a bio male were somewhow mistaken as female, his reaction would be to laugh it off. or make a joke of it. so it makes sense that you'd be taken more seriously if you dont make a big deal out of it. bc when you do make a deal of it all it does is draw attentionthen people are like wtf? its not always easy but laughing it off would be a normal reaction versus flippin out about it or charging people. I as a transman do not want to cause attention to myself that would make people really question my gender. our best bet is to present as well as possible and laugh off a situation. for instance. I'm a scarwny guy and when i hang out with my gay friends and various others and we're all havin a good time drinking beer or whatev i can see how after being intoxicated someone might mistake me as one of the lesbians in group. I could laugh it off and be like "ah come on man its bc im scrawny isnt it?" then it becomes a joke and the situation is diffused.

[j8o0e]

`I agree that the quarter theory doesn't work, particularly with parents and siblings. Being I am 29 years old, my parents and brother are having a tough time calling me by the correct nouns. Why? Because of 29 years of calling me by the wrong ones. Once more changes start to occur, their references will change. It's a matter of ppl gettin used to it.

[idolpassing]

`i agree with the two prior posts - if i expect people to be supportive of me, i can't be as difficult and obtuse as possible. i've told my friends and family the name and pronoun i prefer, and that i do expect mistakes to be made. most of these people have known me my whole life, and this is a drastic change for everyone, though to a lesser degree than myself.

patience is a virtue and even though it can be frustrating, it isn't as if they're going out of their way to degrade or insult, and be patient yourself with correction.

[(deleted)]

`I think it's impossible to force anyone else to perceive you a certain way, no matter whether you're transgendered or cisgendered. I realize this is an issue of visibility, of acknowledgment and respect, but people will slip. This will happen especially if they've known you a long time, and doubly so if you've spent a decent amount of time trying to please others or be the 'right kind' of daughter, sister, friend, etc. prior to transition. Those things will be hard to forget, and while you might not have changed at all, others will perceive that you have, and even suspect that they don't know you at all. It might take getting to know you all over again as you live comfortably in your skin before they will naturally refer to you as male. As long as they have to put effort into it, they'll have to be thinking about it all the time, and that's a lot to expect from anyone.

I noticed this a while ago, after coming out to a friend of mine, who subsequently tried to affirm my "strong womanhood" more and more as time went on. It annoyed me, but it dawned on me after a while that she wasn't trying to undermine my identity, but that she was simply misinformed about what it had all meant (she might have thought I was telling her I was 'butch'). After a lengthy, open and honest discussion, she is now better versed in many trans issues and identities.

[1sebastian]

`I have a hard time dealing with my co-workers and my less familiar family with this situation. All I can do is to correct them each time. And I have asked for them to start calling me by my new name at my job, in hopes it will help them remember to call me 'he, him' and so on.

I am happy that for the most part they seem to be putting up with me. And I mean that in the literal term. It can be seen that they do not like or fully understand I suppose. But at least they respect me enough to try.

As for my family, I don't believe they will ever get it. And sadly I have some what pulled myself from them. I am still close to my immediate family though, and they call me he and such on a normal basis, though it has taken time, and there are still mistakes.

All I can think of is just to correct each time, and slowly it will sink in.

[jackanthony]

`To Sebastian, about your co-workers, I suggest you have a meeting with your boss, explain what is going on, and what will happen. Explain about your new name (and your new noun!) and if they're a bit arsey mention something about Equal Opportunities.

A close friend of mine's boss reacted really well to this, while my friend took some holiday (to start on HRT, didn't want to go through the first bit at the office!) his boss called a full staff meeting and explained his new name (and noun) and that they were all to practice it for his return, if anyone had a problem they'd have to see the boss about it and they'd find a way around it,

it was an interesting reaction, people tend to respond better if its all explained outright to everyone in black and white. People were fine though, really nice, really supportive, I can only hope my work will have the same reaction!

[(deleted)]

`The quarter theory sounds kinda fun if you're doing it among friends who aren't meaning to slip up and what a great to way to make money. Haha but I'm not too picky on pronouns. I do expect my friends to make the switch I'm just not going to be particular about it until I start T. Once they start seeing changes I imagine it'll be easier to remember.I haven't decided how I want to go about this with my family. My parents are supportive but it's very hard for them. I want to find some kind of balance.