Using the Men's room illegal?

[(deleted)]

I recently started a new job. My boss is extremely accepting of me as FTM and wants to do anything she can to accomodate my unique situation. When she saw me coming out of the men's room, though, she pulled me aside and told me that she's set aside a separate restroom for me to use. She has termed it the "executive restroom" for only the staff to use, and it's unisex so male or female can use it. The reason for this separate restroom is because I am not legally allowed to use the men's room since I'm pre-op, and since my driver's license still says "F" for gender. Once I get the surgery and can change it to "M", I can use the men's room. She just doesn't want to be held responsible if one day my FTM status is discovered by the rest of the staff and the company is sued because I was using the men's room while the boss knew I was biologically female. Has anyone else had this problem? This was the first I have heard that it is actually illegal for a FTM to use the men's room. Feedback would be awesome!

[(deleted)]

Bugleboy, I can't say that I've ever really experienced anything similar too that. At least not when it comes to using the bathroom. I've been kind of lucky I guess in that none of my employers have discovered that I'm different although I was afraid that my current employer would have when I went through the federal background check.. I think the positive thing about all of this is, that your supervisor really seems to care about you as an employee.. I think if I were open about myself too anyone in management where I work, I would probably be drummed out the same day.. Banking is still very much a Man's World, and no matter how hard a woman works, she only is regarded as an equal opportunity employee and not seriously considered..

[pinkunderwear]

Amber, I have the same fears as you as well, and that they could possibly know of my situation and just haven't confronted me yet. I really don't know how I'd react to a situation like that.

To the original poster, wish you the best of luck with that situation, but the employer is most likely just playing things safe.

[mojo77]

Your boss sounds pretty undestanding. You've got to remember saftey issues too. I dated a girl who was "found out" by having a peeping tom in the bathroom, her co-workers spread the word and one of them ended up beating her up pretty badly.

[ftw127]

im not sure about the whole legal part of it, due to the fact that i have yet to get a job. i live in a small farm town and they arent exactly understanding of trans issues. but when i go to public places i only use male restrooms. i have yet to have anyone say anything to me... ive done so since before i really even started transitioning, and no one said anything. i even do it at schools and such. sorry i couldnt help u with the job thing... im hoping to get one soon. but i imagine they do it for safety reasons... ive read somewhere that as long as you arent causing a disturbance with customers or they arent complaining or what not than they cant do anything...but im not too sure on that so dont quote me.... it would make sense because they are going against your rights as a trans, i mean making u go to the unisex bathroom kinda draws attention to u, if u pass as a male than why not let u use the right bathroom? if u look and sound like a guy, why not treat u like a guy?

[dman21]

I know that when I told my job I was transitioning my boss and district manager let me use the mens room the said that you should you the bathroom that you identify with and here in maryland montgomery county to be exact they just made the law more specific allow trans to use the bathroom that they identify with. But the law really is how you interpret it. You identify as male you the mens bathroom.