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theone89
![](/images_shared/200w_photosecret.jpg) theone89
Joined: February 29, 2012
Posts: 1
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Posted: Post subject: how do i tell my mom and dad |
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i want to tell my mom and dad i want to be a girl but i dont no how can some one help me
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![former member former member default image - bird flying away](/images/shared/member/100w/deleteduser.jpg)
(deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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`unfortunatly there's no easy way to do that the only reason mine went quite smooth was because i don' live at home and i kinda pre-notified my mum about me wanting to change my appearance on the outside to that of the female gender when i was 14 but she said it was a phase, basically i said how much it was hurting me and making think really bad thoughts and how much of a dark place i was living the way i was and how i'd thought and had plenty of time (7 years) when i told her to consider and know my decision was the right one for myself if your of the younger generation i'd say probably 25 and under not discriminating against the older generation post back by all means with your experiances on the matter but i had to constantly reassure my mother it wasn't her fault, i know it's awkward to strike a conversation this serious with your parents but unfortunatly if you want to make a move and do something regarding wanting to change gender then you need to overcome this admittedly huge hurdle just be as relaxed as possible don't get yourself f----ered just go when your ready and ask your parent/s if they are busy and have time for quite a long , deep and meaningful chat about your welfare explain that to begin with at this moment in time your not in any danger, your not doing drugs, smoking, drinking lol something to put a smile on there faces yet still keep seriousness. then go to explain about people in the world who wish change the gender that they were born with to the opposite and obviously say i'm one of these people explain how bad your living conditions in your mind are like myself priorto me completely coming out i was considering doing some harmful things to myself and how much i was depressed and suffering in my work and suffering in my free time, explain how much you've thought about it and the rest should go smoothly try not to get angry from repeating yourself not saying your parents are stupid just saying they don't often understand straight away and have alot of questions if they don't know anything about the whole process
hope this helped to me it was just me rambling on haha good luck anyway :)
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peterkay1978
![](/images_shared/200w_photosecret.jpg) peterkay1978
Joined: April 13, 2009
Posts: 1
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Posted: Post subject: |
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`I'm still wondering how to come out to my stepdad. I told my mom years ago. Then a few years ago. Then again a couple of weeks ago. My stepdad lives with us now so it would be hard to transition given his views on things. I don't want him to move out because of it since he has no where to go, but I don't want to stagnate either.
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![former member former member default image - bird flying away](/images/shared/member/100w/deleteduser.jpg)
(deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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`I can't relate because I'm older now, but if I could change one thing in my life, I would have been more brave in my youth. I would have come out long ago with my s----lity and way of life. I'm sure I would have alienated some people in my life, but at least I would have been honest with myself.
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![former member former member default image - bird flying away](/images/shared/member/100w/deleteduser.jpg)
(deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: |
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`maybe write an email to them?
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(deleted)
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Posted: Post subject: hi girl! |
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i have alot of tgirl friends whos dad are from the military,police department,army,and some of my tgirl friends have conservative families,and it was not easy for them to be open about their s----lity,,
you have to know that your family is also protecting an image and reputation,
you have to grow,by yourself,prove to your family that even you want to be a girl,you are not a liability for the family,get a job and earn,,and show to your family that you can be productive,,so that they wont tell you that what you want is not right,,if u have a nice job,you don't aggravate other people and you dress up in a decent way,,then they would understand you,,but first,,i want you to confess to your mother first,i am sure that she will understand and accept you easily rather than your father,,if u have a sister,you can also tell it to her,just do it one at a time,do not force anything,,be true and calm while confessing the truth to your mom,get their sympathy and understanding,after all,they are your family,.
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alyeska
![](/images_shared/200w_photosecret.jpg) alyeska
Joined: August 15, 2010
Posts: 1
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Posted: Post subject: |
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`I was extremely nervous and anxious about coming out to my family and never could do it on my own. I told my older sister who is a nurse and she was cool with it but suggested I speak to a therapist first before telling my folks cuz she knew our father would go nuts. So I asked this question to my therapist what she came up with was to role play.
At first I thought it wouldn't be the same, that talking about it to her or others wouldn't have the same effect but I was wrong. It did work.
I spoke to a few friends that knew, asked them to play the roles of my parents and siblings and my therapist offered suggestions before and after. We met at a friends house where I had to go so it was more realistic. Oddly my friends took on their roles seriously and played their parts very well even though they knew what was coming and it made a huge difference for me. It was almost like prepping for a job interview. I actually did it twice, refining what I wanted to say and how I would react at the tough questions. In the end I was much more comfortable and less nervous for the big day.
It was still hard and lots of tears and my folks were not totally convinced but it was a start, and over time my parents were ok with it. I think because I acted like a lady and not guy dressed in girl clothes. I have recommended this to a few tg friends and they report success so maybe this will help you too. Good luck!
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