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Really????

 
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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject: Really????

I was out with a girlfriend one evening recently, and a guy approached us and struck up a conversation. I was not interested in the dude, but thought my friend might be, so I introduced them to each other. As I turned to walk away I heard him say that I am "much prettier" than my friend. Ummm, is that supposed to be a compliment? I certainly don't appreciate the way this piece of work treats women. And I sure as hell don't need a guy to tell me I'm pretty.

I always ignore what people had to say about my body, my looks, or my outfits because I fully embrace myself; But on the other hand, I want to try and make a difference in how we are perceived and objectified. I feel that we as women can make a difference by TAKING BACK the very things that people take away and use against us. Like our beauty and sensuality.

The idea that our dressing provocatively directly embodies a trigger for objectification is something I do resent. I've always felt compelled to dress how I want, regardless of if it's s----l or demure nature, because it is my body, and it is my life. I feel equally empowered whether I wear a mini-dress, long weave and makeup OR just sweats, and a hat. If you want to let YOUR life pass you by because you're so busy worrying about what someone is wearing, then don't bring others down with you lol. There are many powerful women who don't need an outsider's validation, and I'm one of them.

Believe me, when I wanna be sultry, I can make it happen because I WANT IT to happen. We all should love our bodies in our own different ways. Some like to flaunt it, some keep it under lock and key until the right person comes along. Don't hate the other, just do what you feel is right 4u. I LOVE to dress sexy. My only rule: You can look but don't touch.

Appearance is really important to a lot of people...but where does self-image fit into the mixture? My looks have been everywhere and in between in terms of other people's opinions. I won a few beauty competitions and even did some modeling here and there, and despite that I know I'm definitely not everyone's cup of tea (or hot chocolate). And at the end of the day, all the makeup, hair, lingerie, etc. goes away and doesn't mean anything. It's plastic. I find validation in the form of my own self-value. Being sexy, and owning it and stuff is fun... but it is just one part of who I am and what I can do.

If a woman draws upon her own instincts from within to manifest her self-image, then she becomes self-reliant and confident in herself inside, as well as out. We ladies should celebrate our free will, not by knocking each other down but by building each other up. At the end of the day we are all beautiful and have something to offer.





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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`I can see your point. Thanks for the insight. But I can see both sides of the argument.

Years ago I remember having this conversation with a few coworkers about how women are viewed as s----l objects. The most outspoken woman in the discussion was pretty and liked to wear her blouse unbuttoned half way down her breasts. This same woman would then make snide comments about guys that had their shirts unbutton half way down their chests. Saying such things as, dude...this is work...not Saturday night fever. Obviously, the conversation degenerated into a typical men bashing rant. But I did find it interesting. Seemed the women didn't want to be oogled over, but also wanted to show off cleavage and draw attention to their g-string undies. Guys on the other hand are expected to look proper. Mind you, this conversation was about the work place and not in general. That's when I started thinking....damn....being a woman must be so nice. You can pretty much dress any way you want, and it's ok. Guys?.....well....there seems to be unspoken rules on what's acceptable. Anyway, I got off topic....

I see you're point and agree. You should be able to dress how you want if it makes you feel good. Your statement, "you can look, but you can't touch", seems to make good sense. But then why do you get offended when some guy thinks your sexy? Sound to me like they're not allowed to look either. The only thing I found offense about your story was the guy making a comment to your friend that you were more pretty. I think the guy was being rude and insensitive to your friend.

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`Hi there; I really appreciate your comment, thank you for sharing. Firstly, I should clarify that i do appreciate compliments. However, I am not shy about expressing my independence and my hope that every woman finds independence from within herself. I think we women should draw upon ourselves as a means of finding and celebrating ouir beauty, so that when someone does judge us solely by our appearance, it won't tear us down or hurt our self-worth. The compliments can then be taken as more of a bonus Smile
I don't generally get offended if a guy thinks I am sexy, I'm just not validated by it. I think we women should empower ourselves, and realize we are all beautiful in our own unique way.
It is inevitable that we will always be judged on our looks, but I think if we fully embrace ourselves, then people will be unable to use our looks as a means to hurt us or divide us.

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`I agree. Looks are not everything. People should be judged by who they are and not by a few choice attributes.

On the flip side your your comments, it'd be nice if women would stop asking me how much money I make and where I went to school. For once, I'd like to hear, "Nice *ss!". Some people can be so insensitive. :)

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`LOL I aree with you about the money thing. I find more value in making and having my own money, than relying on someone else. I think it is fruitless. And for the record, I would be glad to compliment u on ur *ss.

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`Alright, you caught me in a lie. I've never been asked how much money I make, nor have I been asked about my 4th grade education. As for those compliments...why I....oh....mmm.....aww shucks....compliments will get you everywhere. Damn I'm too easy!

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

LOL

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject: Re: Really????

bdiamond9 wrote:
I was out with a girlfriend one evening recently, and a guy approached us and struck up a conversation. I was not interested in the dude, but thought my friend might be, so I introduced them to each other. As I turned to walk away I heard him say that I am "much prettier" than my friend. Ummm, is that supposed to be a compliment? I certainly don't appreciate the way this piece of work treats women. And I sure as hell don't need a guy to tell me I'm pretty.

I always ignore what people had to say about my body, my looks, or my outfits because I fully embrace myself; But on the other hand, I want to try and make a difference in how we are perceived and objectified. I feel that we as women can make a difference by TAKING BACK the very things that people take away and use against us. Like our beauty and sensuality.

The idea that our dressing provocatively directly embodies a trigger for objectification is something I do resent. I've always felt compelled to dress how I want, regardless of if it's s----l or demure nature, because it is my body, and it is my life. I feel equally empowered whether I wear a mini-dress, long weave and makeup OR just sweats, and a hat. If you want to let YOUR life pass you by because you're so busy worrying about what someone is wearing, then don't bring others down with you lol. There are many powerful women who don't need an outsider's validation, and I'm one of them.

Believe me, when I wanna be sultry, I can make it happen because I WANT IT to happen. We all should love our bodies in our own different ways. Some like to flaunt it, some keep it under lock and key until the right person comes along. Don't hate the other, just do what you feel is right 4u. I LOVE to dress sexy. My only rule: You can look but don't touch.

Appearance is really important to a lot of people...but where does self-image fit into the mixture? My looks have been everywhere and in between in terms of other people's opinions. I won a few beauty competitions and even did some modeling here and there, and despite that I know I'm definitely not everyone's cup of tea (or hot chocolate). And at the end of the day, all the makeup, hair, lingerie, etc. goes away and doesn't mean anything. It's plastic. I find validation in the form of my own self-value. Being sexy, and owning it and stuff is fun... but it is just one part of who I am and what I can do.

If a woman draws upon her own instincts from within to manifest her self-image, then she becomes self-reliant and confident in herself inside, as well as out. We ladies should celebrate our free will, not by knocking each other down but by building each other up. At the end of the day we are all beautiful and have something to offer.







Point of your post:

a guy said you are prettier than your friend. You want to brag about that under the guise of complaining about it.

My post:

You look like a man


Very Happy

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`LOL beauty is subjective, so anything u say about my looks does not affect me at all. I hope you find a way out of your insecurities Musclegirl; I'll be living my own life in the meantime Very Happy
All the best

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feedback




feedback

Joined:
January 5, 2005
Posts: 916

PostPosted:     Post subject: Re: Really????
Reply with quote
musclegirl wrote:

Point of your post:

a guy said you are prettier than your friend. You want to brag about that under the guise of complaining about it.

My post:

You look like a man



Just a quick reminder to everyone here.

It is against the rules to post personal attacks within the forums...and is grounds for account deletion.

There is no reason for the comments above to have been made, especially within a public forum.

If you cannot say something nice to/about someone, keep it to yourself...or you are HIGHLY likely to find your account deleted.

We do not want the forum area to turn into an area of negativity and hate, and putting other members down because of their looks is not appropriate, and it is not allowed.

Thanks,
Cool

.

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject: Re: Really????

feedback wrote:
musclegirl wrote:

Point of your post:

a guy said you are prettier than your friend. You want to brag about that under the guise of complaining about it.

My post:

You look like a man



Just a quick reminder to everyone here.

It is against the rules to post personal attacks within the forums...and is grounds for account deletion.

There is no reason for the comments above to have been made, especially within a public forum.

If you cannot say something nice to/about someone, keep it to yourself...or you are HIGHLY likely to find your account deleted.

We do not want the forum area to turn into an area of negativity and hate, and putting other members down because of their looks is not appropriate, and it is not allowed.

Thanks,
Cool

.



I agree. Play nice. If you can't same something nice...you should...um...we should....

Sayyyy...Mr. Feedback...that's a nice tie you have there......whispers....."call me!" Wink

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`Can't we all just get along !

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`I agree with Jeraxari. We have to deal with so much b.s , from people who dont understand our journey. Why spend the time tearing someone down, as t.s. we are the ONLY ones who know what we go through...so this should be a safe haven. You dont have to like everyone ( or what they say) but at least respect them and their journey. How can we expect the mainstream world to treat us correctly ,if we treat each other like crap

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(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`A compliment is a compliment, take it how ever you want. But to be honest with you you being offended seems a little ridiculous. Even if the "dude" was a dousche bag, you should be grateful and take it and walk away, some people have no compliments.

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wosret




wosret

Joined:
June 23, 2012
Posts: 14

PostPosted:     Post subject:
Reply with quote
`I'd be offended too, but because it seems like a divide and conquer strategy. Attempting to alienate you and your friend, or promote competition. He could have easily called you prettier because he thought it would make your friend easier. Guys can be stupid sometimes, generally attributing success all to themselves, and their brilliant manoeuvres.

That said, I appreciate and desire outside validation. It is a self-esteem issue, I think, when you don't care whether they meant it or not. It is just human to want people to think, and say positive things about you, and to feel good about yourself when they do.



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