Dating pre-op? Possible? Plausible?

[(deleted)]

So I was wondering about dating, and I've sorta been actively looking.
I've gotten some interesting replies from people, though sadly most way older than me, the ones my age only want S-- and as fun as it sounds and as hot as they are I'd want something more.

Right now I look pretty feminine, good, however my voice is super deep, which sucks balls. (It's their fault!), but I plan to get vocal surgery in Korea for that ,but my reason mentioning I feel so ugly talking to people I've met while dressed with my voice..But I can't seem to alter my tone enough to get any decent sounds. So thats one ackward point, and then theres the whole fact of still having a -----.

Alot of ltr's I've seen pre op's have seem to end when they get the surgery because alot of the time their boyfriends are attracted to/se---lly want sort of a ------- kind of thing, i mean if you like that, thats you.. keep it, but some people (like my self ) want to go all the way. And that would be a change in the bedroom..
I don't know,
Has anyone had any real luck dating pre-op?

I had one guy that was like the epitome of what I'm attracted to, financially stable, my age and funny respond. He even didn't mind my voice..We skyped one night all night, after I got home from partying, but..It just stopped. The next day texts were slow, and after that just kinda halted to no communication. It messed with my psyche a little but I'm over it..
But it was a sad experience for me, lol. I don't usually get hopeful, but I let my guard down.

[(deleted)]

`From my point of view on this, in any relationship no matter if it's between a transgendered person or not, we are all human beings. If you want to date someone, you must first be comfortable enough with yourself to get into one. It all starts with you; if you aren't at that comfort level to where you can be yourself and not care about what others think, then dating right now might not be a good idea. No one wants to date a fake, we want to date someone who knows how to be themselves - no matter who or what gender you are.

Relationships are tough anyway, but adding the whole transgender thing in there does add a new issue. Here's some good advice - don't make it an issue. Let them understand that you may be different, but you are who you are ....and if he can't accept that, then he's not the right person for you. When it comes to trans women ...you have guys who won't care, those who will be attracted to you because you have a ----- and of course guys who will throw a fit. Those are all common reactions ....and are to be expected. So just be comfortable with yourself, show that you are just yourself ...and not "trying to lie about your gender" ...he will either understand or not. As long as you're being yourself, then it's all on him.

[(deleted)]

`Oh and also, I'm one that would rather date a pre-op ....that's my personal choice. It's not just because of the ----- either (albeit that can be a really nice perk lol). I have my reasons for why and they have nothing to do with the person "being different" or because it's "taboo." I have friends who are transgendered and are wonderful people. None of my friends plan to have SRS because it's expensive and, from what I've been told, a painful experience. So they choose to keep everything and live with it.

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soaringeagle11 wrote: `Oh and also, I'm one that would rather date a pre-op ....that's my personal choice. It's not just because of the ----- either (albeit that can be a really nice perk lol). I have my reasons for why and they have nothing to do with the person "being different" or because it's "taboo."

I have friends who are transgendered and are wonderful people. None of my friends plan to have SRS because it's expensive and, from what I've been told, a painful experience. So they choose to keep everything and live with it. I think it's funny you word it like this. Just like the white boys saying he isn't racist because he has black friends. You like it for the -----. Regardless, on the right amount of hormones that s--- don't work anyway so I cannot see why you would like it so much. Maybe you just have an an*l fet--- or have your partner take viagra to ---- you in the butt. To each their own right homeboy?

How much longer will people like you use the I have a "transgender friend" card to cover their clearly prejudicial and racist behavior? I understand preference, I don't date white or black guys, but I don't rule out the possibility of finding a white or black guy I really like. Am I racist? probably. SRS is not expensive and there are many options to get it paid for. Find a university like the University of Washington that covers SRS surgery and a students out of pocket is 5,000 FOR EVERYTHING. That is cheaper than going to thailand where it is 6,500.

I have a close friend of mine get SRS through the University of Washington. Using the *it's expensive* card is a cop out just like the *I have transgendered friends* card. It's worn out and over used. Making minimum wage living in a studio apartment one can save for SRS in about 8 months. Im sure you'll have all these wonderfully thought out excuses to spew out my way right? How typical and expected. Instead of having excuses, maybe these lazy people should have answers. Just getting rid of that digital cable you can save close to $1,200 in a year. That is 20% of the total surgery cost to you so save your excuses.

It obviously does not mean enough to you *friends* to actually get it done. So please do tell me what are these *other* reasons or were you just saying that to make yourself appear to be non judgmental? I see fet--- seeking perverts like you here all the time. You know how many times I get asked *how big is your -----* ---- I never had one so I dont know..zero inches maybe.

[cecybelynda]

`Sore-ing,
Gee, of course, everyone can get into & pay for UW, just like everyone lives in the state with the highest minimum wage, and everyone can get hired. And SRS always has good results, never any complications, so of course major surgery isn't anything anyone should think twice about, because you can always be a breatharian and electrolysis is free for the taking. And no competent surgeon requires any documentation from any therapists, and if they did therapists are all volunteers and would never require anyone to be seen for, say, a year. And no one ever loses one of these great minimum wage jobs, or gets sick, or has anything else to deal with in their lives. Because being transsexual is just a test of character. Just ask Ayn Rand.

[(deleted)]

`Oh geeze..Interestings posts but..uhm..Straying off topic.
lol.
Can some one share their dating experiences? I'm sure that'll be interesting.
I actually met a really cool guy, and went to a club with him and it was really fun. He was nice, seemed like he had everything planned out with his life, really outgoing..But it seems like it was just..a one time thing. It was his first time at the club and my second time, ( its a gay/lesb club but really fun and cool place ) hes made some friends there, and made alot more his second trip.
He seemed really into me, so it seems only natural i feel kind of a longing to go out again but he went recently and didn't suggest me comming with him, was weird. Had fun though and met more people there, I herd.
I donno.
This dating thing is so complicated, I'm used to being secure and understanding people and their urges/wants and understanding them psychologically but that was usually in relation to heterosexual things. Dealing with dating and meeting people as a CD TG etc it's adding a whole new level of complication and unknown and it's hard for me to become comfortable.
I'm not comfortable with my self, fully yet, i'm getting used to being able to do things I couldn't before because I was locked in a close minded house hold for the last 17 years, but I am pretty confident and I guess it'll just have to take time..



But anyways, on topic..Share dating experiences!

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cecybelynda wrote:
Excuses, excuses, excuses. Being a human being is difficult. If all you ever do is spew out excuses nothing will ever happen. I'm a poor, Intersexed, Hispanic, single mom with a *special* 6 year old living in the hood and when I want something I can save for it just like everyone else does. I have to pay rent, electricity and all that BS just like everyone else yet I managed to save money for something I want. Like I said, just turning off my digital cable saved me almost $1,200 bucks a year. Two years is almost half the money I need just turning cable off. I have wanted bigger b--bs my whole life and a couple years ago I decided I am going to get them. I will have enough money for it in 14 days after saving for YEARS. Imagine that.

However,unlike you, I make answers instead of excuses.

[(deleted)]

`jeraxari.
I am old so i guess i could shed some light on this subject.
I meet people virtualy everyday who want to have S-- but that is all they want , i play games with them untill they realise they are not going to get it from me , Most of them if not all are married or in a relationship, they lie and say they are not but it doe's not take long to trip them up to find that out.
The last guy i met i thought was a realy nice but again he wanted virtualy instant S-- but he did not get it as i thought if you are that interested you will wait untill i am ready 'but' one day out of the blue he said to me i am not waiting forever and if you have your opp i will not want to know you! now i showed him my door (i did not ask him if he liked my door but i showed it to him anyway) (sorry silly sense of humour) anyway it just goe's to show how some of these men think , he was only interested in me as a pre-op now to me that is just wierd as when i have had my opp i will still be the same person just without a part of me i don't want (but he did) i guess that makes him gay but i would say gay but in denial .
These people have to realise that wearing a dress doe's not make a person a woman .
I truely think that it is down to fate if you meet Mr rite , not places like this , it is possable to meet someone on a website such as this one but it is more likely you will meet him by chance one day but you need to be sure of what he wants , you must never allow anyone to break your heart , i have been there but i will not allow it to happen ever again , i am in control however hard that may sound but its the only way you will find the rite guy who is willing to be with you through everything and not just interested in your genitals .
We live in a world surounded with s----ly cunfused people or people just looking for something different.
I personaly don't think i will ever find my partner but you are young compared to me so don't give up but you should give up trying to find him! let him find you then make sure he will stick by you before you make any mistakes you may regret .
I don't think i have answered your question but even if i listed 10 of my experiences it would still be the same answer 'most men are a waste of space and only want one thing' and the trouble is once they have got it they lose interest.
Good luck i hope he finds you i think you deserve some respect , Julia .

[(deleted)]

`Real love outside the ----o and fantasy realm is hard for any trangender person.

[highaim]

`I have dated a lot pre-op, and it is a huge, huge challenge. When you are passable, guys' minds eventually turn to S-- and they start making moves on your body, and you have to be prepared to handle it. If you don't want him to know, you have to always be mindful of his hands. It's very stressful.

It's enjoyable because you are actually with a straight man so that is great. But it's very stressful.

Jera, do everything humanly possible to get your voice right. Mine is and it makes all the difference. If you don't have the voice -- nothing else matters and he WILL find out (or his friends/family will notice and tell him). My non-expert advice is to find an actress's voice you like, listen to it with earplugs and just keep repeating what she says exactly how she says it and just commit non-stop to it.

I'm not exactly sure if you mean dating pre-op when the guy KNOWS you're pre-op. If you did, I don't know.

[curiouscollege2]

`Just throwing this out there, it might depend on the groups you hang out with to.

I know on the campus I'm on there's sometimes a attitude of 'Dating, whats the point?' The people want sex, they go to the parties and clubs and that's all they want. That's what they think college is for, and dating can wait til they've graduated.

However, that's just one group, even if they happen to be the loudest in the polls and editorials our newspaper does. You just have to find the right group of people who are looking for relationships instead of one night stands or free s--.

Maybe try the different clubs? I know our campus has a club for just about everything, great way to meet people and start building a relationship from there.

[(deleted)]

highaim wrote: `I have dated a lot pre-op, and it is a huge, huge challenge. When you are passable, guys' minds eventually turn to S-- and they start making moves on your body, and you have to be prepared to handle it. If you don't want him to know, you have to always be mindful of his hands. It's very stressful.

It's enjoyable because you are actually with a straight man so that is great. But it's very stressful.

Jera, do everything humanly possible to get your voice right. Mine is and it makes all the difference. If you don't have the voice -- nothing else matters and he WILL find out (or his friends/family will notice and tell him). My non-expert advice is to find an actress's voice you like, listen to it with earplugs and just keep repeating what she says exactly how she says it and just commit non-stop to it.

I'm not exactly sure if you mean dating pre-op when the guy KNOWS you're pre-op. If you did, I don't know.


I did mean when the guy knows.
You are totally right about the voice thing because even straightmen would be more open to it(I've polled some people) if you fit all the physical parts because they want some one they can not only have S-- with, but go out with, do the whole dating experience, show off to friends and family. But no matter how good you look if your voice sucks it can ruin everything. :\
I practice but I could practice harder. Sometimes I might get a line out perfectly and it makes me so happy but its' hard sustaining and it seems like the longer I go the worse it sounds or if I listen to the recordings later it doesn't sound as great as the playb ack did the first few times, or it gets worse over time, but I guess you're right. The true way to win is practice and practice ( and that vocal surgery in Korea I've been considering if I could save up the money.. ).

It'd be so much easier to date pre -op if I could just sound good =\, its so depressing because it feels like my options are limited to people just interested in S-- because thats prettyy much all we can do, hang around confined private areas.

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`well its strange i must admit whats people like attracts us i think all trans girls guys -------s so brave for being them selves inner person they feel and are and devloping into themselves, evolving without natures help or correcting natures mistake
me well my likes tastes are similar to most guys i guess feminine pretty petite or slim slender im non scene straight as in not liking guys gay etc
never had gay relations intimate
but the thought of ------- feminine breasts all but her male parts makes me so excited attracted and willing to try all intimate relations i cant explain but long to find love friend any even to spend time company may change my thought or both our thoughts who knows
and if i met a fully transitioned girl well thats the same i guess as love is love attraction and all
think if i dated ------- before would change relations as would all but thats as person has changed developed into different person and some all have own tastes likes loves needs

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Jeraxari
I have dated pre-op ( mtf ) and we met in NEW YORK CITY. our intros was hot and we really seems into each other. so we dated and it lasted for 3yrs; the only reason why we lasted that long was because we supported each other in the relationship . like you, she wanted surgery to complete her transition ; she also had issues with her voice . But we supported each other in all things and that what works us then . So i think u should find that soul mate who will supports you in everything . and believe me u will know he's the right one , he'll come looking for u.

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`@thefur2011! You are seriously thick/stupid/ignorant and thats putting it politely.

Take a look at what you post here then ask yourself is anyone going to take me(thats you) seriously? You contradict everything you say.Your post above this is just in your head because on another post you say you have been dating a mtf for 4 yrs and want to know if you should ask her to marry you! Your profile states you are looking for someone else .
You are one very confused individual who has no place giving advice to others but may i suggest you either wake up from your daydreams or see a shrink unless you are lieing about your age? you say you are 47 years old! Well act it or get your parents permission to use an adult website.