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ninestigmas
ninestigmas
Joined:
October 20, 2011
Posts: 16
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 Posted: Post subject: Resisting change |
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I was reminiscing about a previous dating experience. It suddenly came to me as i had noticed lately that people have been staring at me more and more, and my friend told me her christian grandmother had given her an ultimatum to stop hanging out with her lesbian friend. i contemplated for a second and said ''you dont have a lesbian friend.'' she smiles and chuckles ''she was talking about you!'' i could not stop laughing. Thats when it reeled back to me a boy i went on a ''date'' with once, we had been texting me for a while and one day he kept hinting he wanted to meet. I specificaly remember dressing my best that day. I wore my most feminine clothes. Skinny jeans, a tight black shirt with a loose cut one over and my pink sk8 shoes, even threw on my eyeliner and very light lipstick for good measure. As i gladly waited for him i admired my ability to deal with the restricting female clothes with such ease. Sadly my happiness only lasted a couple of seconds for when he saw me waiting for him outside the theater his face screamed what his mouth was unnable to tell me...Amazingly he kept it together and we continued to the movie. Ofcouse his tolerance only went so fas cause our whole date was shrouded in a suffocating silence. As we walked around the mall and after a couple of seconds into the small talk he blurts '' so why dont you wear girls clothes.'' i instantly remembered all the work i put and all the comfort i sacrificed into looking the best i could i smugly said '' i dont like girls clothes.'' he quickly replies '' well then dont expect to get asked out on dates often.'' as my rage boiled right that second i said '' im not looking to get asked out on dates im transitioning for me not for someone else.'' then i just bolted away walking those 10 miles home i pondered. How dare he say that, i never hid the fact that i was a tomboy from him or from any of the other countless men the exact samething has happened to me with. I almost became sympathetic of them, a frustrating problem of mine being able to se
Cielo de nubes
Last edited by ninestigmas on Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:03 am; edited 1 time in total |
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ninestigmas
ninestigmas
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Posts: 16
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`To see boti sides of any argument. In the end i convinced myself that if a boy cant accept me for my natural femininity and charisma alone, a couple of pounds of make up and a few inches less of clothing isnt going to make much of a difference. Yet my curiousity gets the best of me, and as always i would like to think what you think.
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ninestigmas
ninestigmas
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`Hi Alex. You do not have to wear feminine clothes to prove your gender! We are not in the movies and if anyone takes a good look around they will see most females wear jeans and top as everyday wear .
I have just come back from lunch in town with some friends and at this minute i am wearing jeans and a top and i just took off my black gold digger hoody! ok i was wearing 4 inch heeled boots but i always wear heels (to kick --- with lol) and i also have my make up on but not over the top its just basic.
I do wear dresses rarely but only if i am going to a party or somewhere special.
You wear what you feel comfortable in! If i were in your position with that boy i would have told him do you want a date with me or my clothes? .
I get complemented on the way i dress on a daily basis because i refuse to dress like a granma! i see women younger than myself who have just let themselves go and look just plain drab , as you know i am 54 but i do not feel it and i definatly do not act it.
You are who you are so just be proud of it! being yourself is the most natural thing in the world and being someone different is not you.
I will actualy get my camera out rite now and upload a picture of me just as i am dressed at this minute .It will not say pending as my pictures just appear when approved .
Take care
Julia .
PS i hope you got the video ok and enjoyed it and its sentiment.
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ninestigmas
ninestigmas
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Posts: 16
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`Oh julia i love ur cheekiness and as always its an absolute delight. One more thing are those heels steel toe tips? Lol xoxo alex.
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`Hi Alex! No just the heels are steel tipped!.
After sorting that idiot out in the Dating & S-- forum i cooked a meal and could'nt be bothered to take pics i proberbly looked a wreck anyway , i was attacked by the great British weather so i will do them in the morning before i go out.
My god that man needs help! Shame you can't see the crap he sent me , talk about confused? the mans demented best he stays in the water me thinks.
If you ever come to the UK i will show you what life is like here! Oh its so much fun being me .
You take care Julia x x.
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ninestigmas
ninestigmas
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Posts: 16
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`i would definitely love to meet you if i ever have a chance to see the uk. i saw the video it was absolutely beautiful. it made me cry to much though. seeing as how my wounds are still fresh. thank you so much julia love alex. i would very much like to tell you the story of this pain. hopefully i can one day.
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`Alex! Sorry it made you cry it is to give you hope and it is beautiful.
You will get to tell me and thats a promise (unless i die or something) .
Life is cruel to us but i think you have the strenght to get through anything! please do not take this as an insult but you remind me of myself when i was young (yes i was young once) and what has happend to me in my life i often wonder how i am still here but i am so you can reach my age and i will not pretend it will be easy but things are different now to when i was your age, just like now! We are communicating across the Atlantic! When i was 24 we did'nt even have a phone, we had to walk a mile and put money in a phone box but me being me i had my ways to get it back plus some.
Watch that video again but this time just imagine it is you in it! .I have discovered one thing in life and that is if you want something bad enought you will get it in the end.
You take care and look after yourself .
Love and Christmas wishes Julia x x. Time i hit the shops x.
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phellum
phellum
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Posts: 29
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ninestigmas wrote: In the end i convinced myself that if a boy cant accept me for my natural femininity and charisma alone, a couple of pounds of make up and a few inches less of clothing isnt going to make much of a difference. Yet my curiousity gets the best of me, and as always i would like to think what you think.
If a boy can't accept you for your natural femininity and charisma, that's his problem and not really yours. Someone will come along and appreciate you for you as a whole - including your style. :)
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`Just be yourself, if someone cant accept you, for being you...do you really want to be with them anyways? Be true to who you are....in the long run it will pay off
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sexlover17
sexlover17
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`I wouldlove to chat with a -------
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