Happy Coming Out About My s----lity, But Where's Real Love ?

[altcontrolshift]

This past year has been a roller coaster of extreme joy and sadness for me, having
just come off a relationship with one of the most kind, beautiful and sexy
women I have had the pleasure to love.


In the end she was a vehicle of Karma for me, and she brought me the same kind
of cutting emotional pain that I regret to say I once caused one of
my long,long term partners.

But that's all done. I forgave her (recognizing the ironic character flaw that
she and I shared, and that she has yet to overcome) and I decided to move on.
The week following our break-up has afforded me time for healing and reflection.

I've been thinking a lot about WHY people say that the commitment
problems that arose in our relationship are endemic to all Transexual women. My
friends (some of them TS's themselves!) warn me constantly that Transexual
women are psychologically unable to truly commit to one man because of the lifetime of rejection that so
many of them have faced. They say that one partner will never be enough to satisfy.... and that only
a steady stream of admirers will allow the girl who has suffered to feel she is worthy of love.

If this is really true for all Transexual women, then I am doomed.

I would be doomed because I now realize that if I am to be fulfilled in a
romantic relationship it must be with the right Transexual girl. No options.
No alternatives. That's what makes me happy.

In the past year I unburdened myself by letting my family know that I was (at the time) dating a
Transexual girl with whom I intended to spend my life. After some initial
shock, they now accept it and welcome me -- and whoever I love -- to join them
back home. The biggest challenge was for my son, who is a pretty serious
Christian (thanks to his (GG) Mom, my ex before my TS ex.) If he can accept
Dad loving a Transexual lady, then I think anyone in my life should be. Some
friends of mine have dropped me after I let them know. Maybe they think I'm a fagot, or
whatever, but my attitude is really: **ck 'em. By making my decision and being open about it (and doing
stuff like writing this blog), I feel a lot clearer and confident that I have
found out what's right for me.


But, so? Even though I am clear in my own head about what I want... How could I ever expect to get it ?
Why would I be optimistic that there really are TS ladies out there capable of loving and committing to one man
for life ? I guess my optimism flows from a fundamental believe in the goodness of human nature, and the innate desire of most people to want to do the right thing. I guess it would be the same belief
that allows TS ladies who've been serially cheated on by transsexual chasers and married philanderers to hope that
there really is a good man out there -- someone who will love her exclusively, and proudly step out with her anywhere, any time.

I believe some people want to be good. I think even people who cheat can learn over time that such a pattern of
behavior only leads to false relationships, and that one either gets booted out of
those relationships, our one lives an emotionless lie that slowly leaks joy
until it becomes completely hollow. I know I learned that lesson, and after
causing my share of wreckage, I know I was able to reform and commit. I
know that because I did commit in my last relationship for almost a year,
although the temptation was there. If I can do it, then I know other people can
achieve this too, no matter what's in their past.

Another thing that makes me optimistic is the realization that society has progressed
to the point where not all all Transexual girls have had to grow up in families that heaped shame and
scorn on them. Growing up in love enables you to love in return, and I am really confident that there are
girls out there that have had an upbringing that has given them the self-confidence and love of self
that enables them to make a commitment to one special person.

So that's why I find myself back on this site, not looking for a cheap night's h--k--p, but looking for something real. Hope everyone reading this can find the same thing if you're looking for it !

Peace and much love

muaythai

[(deleted)]

`You are wrong and right! I have been single for 7 years now and in that time i have not met one man who did not just want one thing "sex" in the past few years i have changed so much not only in mind but my body has changed! I have breasts untouched by anyone exept a nurse doing a breast scan (no pleasure there).

I have not and cannot find a man who wants me for who i am .There could be many reasons for this them reasons being my age? my looks? or i am not accepting anything more than real commitment? but if S-- is the first thing on a mans mind then it ends there so it must be my age or looks.

Most men are only interested in pre-op transexuals! they say they are not gay or bi but if thats true then why the fascination with male genitals? I have been told if i have my op i will not want to know you! so i tell them to go find a man then.

I do not pretend to be anything different than who i am so why can a man pretend he is not gay or bi? its called denial.

You sound like an interesting man but i would like to know if you would stick by the TS Woman after her op? and if that is the case then why search for a transexual woman anyway because after her op she will be in most ways just the same as a genetic born female! whats the difference?.

I have yet to find a man to answer that! would you like to be the first?.

Transexual women are not insecure its the men who are unsure! I think i can speak for most TS women saying all we realy want is some real commitment and respect not just s----l flings . Its the way we get treated that makes us put up a wall! No man can never understand what we have to go through "mostly alone" some men say we have mood swings! well the s--- i have had to put up with i feel like swinging for any man who dishes out the s--- but i am 100% happy with every other part of my life.

You say you had a week of healing? i have had cuts that take longer than that to heal , surely your heart cannot heal that fast and if it did it was not true love.

Take care .

Julia.

[ninestigmas]

`It is so funny how people change. You caused ur share of pain and did not realize untill you suffered penance. We are not all attention whores though...and if any girl is offended by that last comment all i can say is ''if the shoe fits''. I for one have been looking for a serious relationship for years. Sadly whenever ive met someone whos romanced me and made me believe in forever theyve just abandoned me. And up until now its always been for someone else. Its really sad because as my heart keeps accumulating hairline cracks i feel my hopes and dreams just drain from me. Slowly i find myself just not caring about commiting. Thinking well ill just have a handfull of admirers if i loose one i can just replace it with two. I am ofcourse very resistant to giving in to that metamorphosis...How long will ill be able to withstand to the call? God only knows. But never forget what you were. . .The unfaithful callous men make good love seeking girls into attention indulging self conscience women, who in then turn the callous men into gentle love sick lambs, and this just repeats over and until all men cant find love and all girls can get enough attention.