Being Transgender an Relationships.

[(deleted)]

Heyya everyone hope your all ok =]

ok so firstly i'd like to start by introducing myself, I'm Rebecca 20 from
Manchester in the uk i'm transgender (M to F) pre op an i see myself as being straight an attracted to men.

ok i dont know if i'm the only one out their that feels like this maybe i'm trying to hard or to little or maybe i'm one of thousands in the same boat

Looking for love? Relationships can often be difficult to start with but i feel with being transgender this is a huge disadvantage an makes it more or less impossible if your just looking for one night stands you'll be in your element take your pick straight guys bi guys curious guys the options are endless but if your looking for serious commitment your left with very few options these are my reasons for thinking so,

1. main dating sites e.g "match.com" "eharmony" etc dont cater for transgender singles

... however their are transgender dating sites yet they all seem to be extreamly seedy full of men looking for a quick meet behind the bus shelter which if your like me it's not really for you.

2. some guys who i've chatted to are really more intrested in asking questions about what's under your clothes rather than getting to know you for who you actually are.

3. some guys dont really want to been seen out an about with you as they fear for what people will think

i just really feel that us transgender people are the out casts in todays society, not any main stream dating sites to cater for transgender people, seen as relationship no goes, not many actual transgender bar's clubs.

i really feel that someone who's in the power to do so should really make a dating agency for transgender singles where they come an see you for a appointment make a profile for you an contact people regarding dates who are also on the dating agency so it's more a formal match rather than an internet based site where the person who you think your talking to could quite frankly be anyone, so they can find matching portfolios with single men or women what ever you s----l preferences to help people out to separate the mr/miss right from the mr/miss one night

sorry if this message seems in a little unorganised structure just need to get this of my mind lol ^.^

Please share any of your thoughts or feelings on any of the comments raised in this message or anything you want to add thank you all for reading hope to hear from you all soon take care mwahhh x X x

Rebecca B

[maev]

`I'm not transgendered but I'm a crossdresser so I deal with a lot of the same drama as you've mentioned. It is very hard not to just be the object for someones fet--- for a one night stand or something else that s----l and similar. I do know there are guys out there that will treat your right though and I feel like this is one of the best sites for that. The conversations I've had on here are a lot cleaner and the people are nicer so I hope you have some good experiences! Just keep looking girl, There out there!

[(deleted)]

`I see where your coming from, most sites set up around transgenders are very seedy, full of men seeking quick and cheap thrills, which I mostly see ---- as the blame for...?
Because your living in Manchester then you always have canal street, although its not catered towards transgendered people I've been a few times and met and chatted to a few women in different bars, yes its full of gay men, but straight men go there too to pick up women who go there to escape getting hit on by men in normal bars.

guys who want to know more about your s----l organs are clearly thrill seekers over time your soon be able to tell these people from their sheer stench.

I myself have held a relationship with a trans woman, I think when people are open minded enough to accept a woman for being a woman reguardles of past and background then there should be no problem being seen in public with their girlfriends, meeting parents etc, in fact I actually hold a great deal of respect for trans women who make the extra effort to be who they are, I find most to be a more genuine person than "GG's"

I think as time goes on and major channels are making programs based around people going through transition and making more people aware then it can surely only get better and these they will be accepted fully and without the mainsteam ignorance, so stick at it girl. things can surely only get better try the dating scene on non transgender sites then if you get friendly enough with a person before you decide to meet explain your circumstances to them

~ Hayden

[(deleted)]

it is true that there are alot of jerks and pigs around,there are also guys who are at first,saying they are nice and cool,but in the end,they are just a complete ass***,those are the ones who are seeking their first experience with a transgender,ultimately they have s----l fetishes and fantasies,and those guys who label themselves as admirers,coz the truth is,they admire the ability of a transgender in bed,not on other aspects,and there are still alot of guys out there that we don't know what their intention is,but to avoid them,is just being straightforward,be outspoken,and proud to be a tgirl,and most of all,u should know if a guy respects you,coz if you respect yourself,definitely,all guys you will meet will respect you as well,if he's not,then he is not worth it,there are still alot of men out there,you just need to have extra effort for everything,do the initiative,if u like someone,express it,if they are just playing around,then leave them alone,its not gonna be your loss,just be practical,there is no mr.right or mr.perfect or prince,,all we need is just someone who is as imperfect as ourselves,,,

[(deleted)]

`Sweet desire, I agree with what you said and know where you are coming from. Finding someone decent is hard period...and as trans-gendered it only makes it worse. If people only understood the journey that it takes to be a ts....then maybe they could look at us as more than a fantasy. Great post and welcome to the site.

[(deleted)]

`sweet desire just a comment on people u said that dont want to be seen in public with u .. ur beautiful ...are they good enough to for u to be seen with them ? if they have a problem with it then obviosly there not worth ur time ... never let any one make u feel as if ur not good enough .

and as for there not being enough t bars ,ive only ever been to a t bar once an to be honest i did'nt like being around B----y people who judge without even talking or getting to know a person ..i funtion perfectly normally in this world n have never felt like an out cast ...

another thing ur still young dont be in such a hurry to find love ..(its not all its cracked up to be ) live a little have some fun !!!

wish u well in the future xxx

[parisstalker]

`Having only REALLY discovered the "world" of ts/tg/cd etc recently, despite having always been very open minded se---lly and so on (although I consider myself 99% "straight" as it were), I think it's pretty safe to say there is simply not enough done within our education and entertainment to educate people about this area of what is considered different.

I don't deny to my friends that should I meet a ts/tg girl who I find attractive physically and personality wise that I would date them, but even amongst my most liberal of friends it is often met with some flak.

To me, it all comes back down to double standards that society has imposed on men. For example, (warning to those that are easily offended by allusions to specific s----l acts) it's perfectly acceptable to ejaculate in a girls mouth, or penetrate a girl in that 'other hole', but oh no, if YOU put anything anywhere near your own or had semen near your mouth, you are 100% gay, and gay=bad. Both of these statements are obviously total fallacies, but it's how people perceive things.

We've just got to work together to break down the false dichotomy of gender and orientation, and the rest will follow I assure you.

[reigh]

`As most men say, being transgender on relationships is being the best of both worlds. I like the part of being the best of both worlds, I prefer to be a WOMAN on relationships. I want to be seen, treated, and most importantly, respected as a woman.

[(deleted)]

`Heyya everyone I just want to say a big thanks for all the comments I really appreciate it :') x

[(deleted)]

`p.s. There are some of the good dudes out here... but who said we were easy to find..... Lmao. and dont let my response fool you... im still a big ol'mean burly --- grump. :]

[lookingforfun14]

`Any guy who would not want to be seen out with you is clearly insane. I have often wondered how hard it must be to meet people for transgender people and it is too bad that the mainstream sites are not more open minded, it is not, however, surprising to me. There are a lot of judgemental idiots out there...and unfortunately for us, they seem to be the ones in charge of stuff! :)

[(deleted)]

`Hey shouldn't there be a second side to this story? What about from the guys perspectives? When you're dating a transwoman you have so much more to worry about in the relationship, there are so many more insecurities. Its not easy dating someone who is clearly too beautiful for you, and its very hard to make it work when the guy is a quiet non-partyer when the gf is out every night shaking her --- for vanity's sake.

As a guy you're going to have to deal with way more than you'll bargain for. The emotional ups and downs come way more frequently, depression happens a lot. Jealousy and obsession have ruined every relationship I've seen(not my own, but that s--- takes WORK).

[(deleted)]

`im from the philippines pre-op... being ------- here is hard to find serious relationship.. men only think that we are prostitute or a cam girl.. but i really ant to have serious long=term relationship. hopefully...

[(deleted)]

mymindwanders wrote: `Hey shouldn't there be a second side to this story? What about from the guys perspectives? When you're dating a transwoman you have so much more to worry about in the relationship, there are so many more insecurities. Its not easy dating someone who is clearly too beautiful for you, and its very hard to make it work when the guy is a quiet non-partyer when the gf is out every night shaking her *ss for vanity's sake.

As a guy you're going to have to deal with way more than you'll bargain for. The emotional ups and downs come way more frequently, depression happens a lot. Jealousy and obsession have ruined every relationship I've seen(not my own, but that sh*t takes WORK).



Everything you say goes for a "normal" relationship.
also, transwomen don't go through more emotional ups and downs than any other woman.
Your post, to me anyway, clearly shows you have no idea about us really.
Another one along the lines of "all transwomen blabla"
As far as depression is concerned, maybe if we are accepted for who and what we are and guys don't just see us as sexdolls the depressions won't be nearly as many.
As it is now, we are left with little or no friends or family during and after our transition, men just want us for "an experience", because they "are bicurious" and/or have seen a ----o movie with a "-------" and they think we are all like that.
I have chatted to many men, in the end it always boils down to what is in my panties, if it works and what i am willing to do with it.
The person that is me is not interesting at all.

[a1oenesome]

keiratg wrote:


As far as depression is concerned, maybe if we are accepted for who and what we are and guys don't just see us as sexdolls the depressions won't be nearly as many.
As it is now, we are left with little or no friends or family during and after our transition, men just want us for "an experience", because they "are bicurious" and/or have seen a ----o movie with a "-------" and they think we are all like that.
I have chatted to many men, in the end it always boils down to what is in my panties, if it works and what i am willing to do with it.
The person that is me is not interesting at all.



Nice one Keira.

It's good to see someone talking some sense on here for a change.