curse or blessing

[jennyo]

Because being transsexual is often so hurtful, so filled with sadness and longing, with shame and loss and difficulty, it is easy to come to the conclusion that the whole thing is utterly a curse, perhaps inflicted by arcane and evil ancient gods.
But there is an upside too.
Most human lives are utterly mundane, devoid of any real uniqueness; the average person somnambulates through an existence devoted to filling the roles expected of them.
Consider. We are given many gifts in compensation for the terrible loss of our childhood as ourselves, and for the pain we endure. We are by some as yet unknown mechanism statistically far more intelligent, as a class, than perhaps any other kind of people. We are almost universally more creative, and we often possess incredible levels of courage and self determination, demonstrated by our very survival, and ultimate attainment of our goal. We are rare as miracles, and in our own way, as magical, or so has been the belief of all ancient cultures on the earth.
We are given awareness that others would never experience, understanding of gender, of the human condition, of society and the roles and hidden rules unquestioned within it. We are given a window into the lives of both sexes, and cannot help but be, to some degree, beyond either. From this we have a rare opportunity: to choose our own life, outside predetermined and unquestioned definition or role. We can do new things, original things, only because our experience is so unique.
Our brains and bodies gain benefit from having been bathed in and altered by the hormones of both sexes. We appear to retain our visible youthfulness where others wrinkle, and for years longer. We possess neural advantages from both sexes, we are shocked into waking up, and if we allow it, to a life we create for ourselves...we are not automatically doomed to sleepwalk through life.
We can live lives of success and love, and genuine special ness, if we choose. If we can get past our upbringing, past the programming, the bigotry, the messages of disgust from the culture around us, if we can stand as ourselves in freedom, then our special gifts grant us a heritage of wondrous power.
We have a proud and marvellous history. In ancient days we were magic incarnate. We were Nadle, Winkte, Two-Souls, Shamans and healers and magical beings to our communities. We possessed the ability to give the blessings of the gods and spirits, and were prized as companions, lovers, and teachers.
To be transsexual is not easy, and it is not a birth that could be envied, but neither is it damnation. It was once considered a rare wonder, if a mixed one.
And in the modern age, of hormones and surgery, we are the first generations of our kind to finally know the joy of complete transformation, of truly gaining our rightful bodies. No other transsexuals in history have been so fortunate.
We have much to add to the world, and to give to ourselves and those who love us.
Only the world around us has changed, the desert harshness branding us vile. We are still the same.
Our compensations are real, and our lives are special; we have but to grasp the gifts born of our sufferings.
When I look around me at the mundane lives, there are times I think that maybe I am glad I was born transsexual, for I would never have been what I have become without that curse. I cannot help but be grateful for my uniqueness, so I am brought to a strange revelation:
Deep down, I cherish having been born a transsexual

[(deleted)]

.there is nothing wrong to be born a transsexual

[melbtrans]

Being born a transsexual is a blessing i would consider it.

I was in my late teens when it hit me that i should be a women instead of a man/guy/boy/lad, whatever one wishes to describe the filthy male appendage stuck between the legs.

I ran and ran and done horrible things, and cruel things tried to have a family, got married ran from it, evaded it , cowered in fright from what i was and what i was meant to be.

I done it for so many years, even getting suicidal and depressed and tried to ask for help at times, but none were forth coming, so i lay down my sorrows and spirit and prayed to god and satan alike to take my soul, just make me a women get rid of the male thing that was so ugly and dangerous and not suppose to be there.

I know what i am at 39 and running from it no more i am giving in to my natural feelings though late in life i start, so now the real me is going to shine and for this i am grateful.


That's what i went through and experienced being a transsexual in my young years and now i know why and what I am, i am looking forward to what years may still be with me as a women, not as a male.

Leanne






Life is a river, sometimes far and wide, sometimes narrow and short,
But no matter the direction of the current, it is the person that gazes upon
the moonlight reflections that make the decisions for which they travel.

[(deleted)]

`Great post!

I feel the same way. Sometimes I hear other transwomen say, or I even think myself, that life would be so much better if we had simply been born "normal." But I think about what being TS has done for me over the years and how it's shaped my personality and being, and I see so many GG's who are miserable, in bad relationships, depressed, etc. and I actually like my life. So why would I trade it for anything or even want to do so?

[kristinaswan]

Being a transsexual isn't an easy role in life. Some days I wish I were 'normal'. Those are the days I am laughed at by some ignorant fool, stared at by some bigoted 'normal' person, or verbally assaulted by someone who is afraid of what, and who, I am. But then I look at myself and realize that its simply jealousy, ignorance, or fear that drives them. There is nothing wrong with me at all, and it is they who have the problem.

I remind myself of who I was before my transition. I also remind myself how I behaved to 'blend in' with the people around me and the things I did to hide my inner soul. Crazy things which confounded those around me. Some people were convinced I was on a mission of death. I wasn't a nice person at all, and though I'm not proud of it, I understand it, and them.

Other days I'm proud to be 'different'. I look at myself and see my gifts. I do look younger; I am highly intelligent; I DO have a unique take on life and society. I can see right through people, male or female, and understand why they do/say/think the way they do. I can because I lived it. I deal with it, both past and present, and understand what 'makes them tick'.

I'm hardly perfect, but by my count, nobody is. We all have our little nuances, the things that make us unique. Though being T may be different from most, it is not completely unique, for I am not alone. I have many friends, both T and otherwise, who understand and appreciate me who I am. They enjoy my company, my insights, and what I have to offer the world. I am a good person now, and I wouldn't give that up for anything. Being 'normal' can't beat being a beautiful person, full of life and my own little uniqueness.

I am Kristina, in name and in spirit. I have been full-time for 6 years, and though I did hormones in the beginning, I have been off of them for several years now. I discovered my own place in life, and choose to live it for me, the way I see fit. Those who knew me before think I'm better for my gender expression, and those who did not, usually don't have a clue until I tell them. I am truly blessed. Someday the world will understand me, and until then I will just be me.

Kristina

The worst foe lies within the self. - "Parasite Eve"
My Little Hell

[(deleted)]

`I speny many years trying toi deny I liked being in womens clothing and that I loved pleasing men se---lly. So the answer is not simple imho. I am what I am and I do believe God still loves me. I am lonely because of my choices but ---- people who do not understand.

[(deleted)]

Being TS is a double edged sword for sure, but there's give and take, good and bad no matter what gender you are. There is no such thing as a perfect life. Good things happen, bad things happen. I look good and have no trouble with anyone knowing I'm TS. That's the good part. The bad part is when men want to get know me better, and find out I'm TS, some get quite offended and some have even beat me up for being attracted to me. Some understand what it is to be TS, but are looking for a genetic female. They try to back out as graciously as possible. This really hurts, cause I can tell they're good men, but I'm not what they want. Some men like the idea of a TS, but I'm a total bottom and don't top, so I'm not what they're looking for either. This is the only really bad side of the coin for me. I have lots of friends, and my family accepts me. I'm not hurting or wanting like many of my TG sisters. I have a great life full of great caring people. I have a good man that loves me enough to pay for my SRS this September.

After 22 years of being run through the TG grinder I came out in one piece. The beatings, bashings, job discrimination, being,being whored out for sex, all seem like some kind of bad dream now, but I couldn't be who I am now without that part of my life. It's help make me who I am... A strong, confident, SEXY nurturing woman. The last 7 years have been very good for me. There were times when i thought I was doomed, but I'm still here, and life is good. It just takes time to come around, and when it does, it's worth the wait. I'm 45, and look 30 and will have finally completed my transition a few months. I have a man that loves me more than life itself.

If things aren't going good, remember the worm always turns, and tomorrow is another day. Don't let the bad things get you down, keep on keeping on, and focus on the good. I know this sounds impossible to some, but it isn't. You just have to really want it bad enough to make it happen at all costs, cause it's not going to fix itself. Do whatever you have to do to realize your dream, and the world will be your oyster.




TGIRLSHAYNA says: "If you don't live for something, you'll die for nothing"

[markell954]

I looking for a transsexual girl that love to have some fun. Holla if you feeling the brother.

One love.

[(deleted)]

`i personally think its a curse..i don't blame god..i believe things happen and god makes mistakes sometimes..god isn't perfect even though many say he is. For example, god has many angels that are against god and reject him, for instance lucifer..if god was perfect then he wouldn't of had lucifer or any of the other fallen angles go against him. Another example is that why are people born with birth defects?..like someone born with a tumor or someone born blind. Do you think god would purposely do this and make them suffer? I personally being born in the wrong body is a birth defect. Satan has very smart ways into trying to upset god and destroy his work.God tries as hard as he can but he cant do it all by himself..that's why he has good angels. I have good faith in god and i know what i must do to be who I really am..being the true female I am. I hate having to wake up everyday with this disgusting alien between my legs which is the male thing..ugh i just cant wait til that nasty thing comes off and I never have to see it again. its practically like a tumor..you either just let it be there or you have it taken off by surgery which is my main goal in life. I know who I'am in the inside..I'm just that beautiful innocent female that wants to be happy in life and help others get to their goal..I know how painful it is being trapped in males body..im here to help everyone get through it. anyways thats all..please respond .

[shellyh2009]

`It's a bit of a tortured life for sure, but a life. A very long time ago I've come to terms with being different. Women have evolved so very far beyond being confined to homemakers and baby machines.

Yet any male that dares to step out of his pre-defined role risks everything. It's like women leaped a million years ahead and won the freedom and rights and men just stayed back unchanged.

[vermeth]

shellyh2009 wrote: `It's a bit of a tortured life for sure, but a life. A very long time ago I've come to terms with being different. Women have evolved so very far beyond being confined to homemakers and baby machines.

Yet any male that dares to step out of his pre-defined role risks everything. It's like women leaped a million years ahead and won the freedom and rights and men just stayed back unchanged.





whoa i have no problem with women moving forward and not being contained in a box, but to say men have not really evolved is somewhat of an insult. what are we going to do, start cleaning and cooking and raising babies? some men already do this, but it's not appealing to everyone. i would say people as groups are keeping themselves back whereas someone without mob influence can think rationally and mostly fairly.

[(deleted)]

`I'm with Vermeth - I want to be the grass cutting, light bulb changing spider terminator.

*I'll be baaccck*

[(deleted)]

markell954 wrote: I looking for a transsexual girl that love to have some fun. Holla if you feeling the brother.

One love.

Ah - a mental speed bump.

I feel ya braw - Can't help ya, but I feel ya.

[(deleted)]

`I have felt ( at several points in my life) that being a t.s. is a curse. However, I have come ,to realize that if I had been born a "genetic" female, I wouldnt be who I am today. I forced myself to accept this...and it helps get rid of those doubts. Good luck to you

[(deleted)]

,,,i know its not easy to be a transgender,but there is a reason why we are all here on earth,,living as trasngender,bisexual,lesbian,men or women,still we have to accept our fate and situation coz God has reasons why we are like this,,all of us have our own purpose ,,and we need to know that,,coz if not,,you are just wasting the gift that God has given you,and that is life,,,being whatever or whoever we are right now is not a curse,or a plague,or contagious disease,,it is a challenge and God-given talent..we are much more lucky coz we are still normal,unlike other people who are born with hydrocephalus,inherited aids,cancer,blind,deaf,and whole bunch of stuff like that,,we are still lucky that we are born this way,,

jc_goddess