PC with a TS ~ How to communicate with a Transexual politely

[(deleted)]

@hugo5555

It's good to hear that there are men like you out there.

I'm glad that someone sees us as people first. Too often I'll get guys who won't treat me that way (if they know, that is -- which is usually someone off the net, either from my YT vids or on message boards) who decided they wanna treat me as a S-- object, booty call, or as something non-human. It makes me shake my head. In real life, I usually don't get it 'cause unless your my friend and have known me for a while, ppl don't know I'm a T-girl off the bat. Although, even if men don't know, some men also treat women with disrespect anyway. I usually tell them to go f-themselves. LOL

Nothing turns on a woman more than a man who treats her right.

[alaenagirl]

`i agree with gothique - genereally men are just horn dogs, so naturally you geussed it they want basically one thing... s--...

but they also want a relationship as a second choice - if a guy is willing to wait on the S-- part and participate in the dating issues first. then maybe you found a good man - the biggest give away is when they send the dic pics first, to those guy you just need to run like your face is on fire.

but there are good men out there who show respect to us ladies... those are the ones that gives me the only reason to keep trying... GG's and TS's both go through the sames issues when dating...

just my opinion - alaena...

[gonude100]

`It embarrasses me as a male, that that males treat you so badly. i agree with an earlier comment that they would not ask a GGirl what is in here pants...or maybe they do, maybe it is that bad.!

I have never been with a TS but the more that I chat with you the more I want to meet you.

I have never slightly considered conversing with anyone other than on a male to female basis and I don't remember ever asking such questions or to see breasts, you are all just people to meet .

hope I'm not too naive....but I agree with Alaenagirl , that both GGs and TSs go through the same issues dating.

[(deleted)]

Thats actually pretty rude I'd have to agree, its probably a better idea to let that individual bring it up or just to not even acknowledge it. Though...

it does create for an interesting conversation later; specially if you had no idea to start with.

her- uh... you see I have to tell you something...
me- what? (playing videogames)
her- I'm not a normal girl,
me- I know, I think its awesome...
her- you do?
me- yeah, most girls aren't interested in horror films like you.
her- that's not what I mean...

I could go on, il----rating the ever increasing awkwardness (for her anyways) of the conversation until she flat out told me. I honestly never knew and was suprised, but it didn't change anything. We're still fairly close. ^^

[(deleted)]

I can't possibly understand everthing involved in transition. I'm not going to pretend I can. But, what I can do is offer some perspective into the male brain. Most of what is said is perfect... and alot of the negative comments transwomen get are really just down right ignoarance and rude and simply socially unacceptable.
I know some of you were born "male" but in reality I think genes can get a little messed up, confused, its really quite amazing genes arent mutated more often! I think that a lot of you that are transitioning have female brains and I actually prefer calling some of this involvement a defect at birth. i am sure many women in transition can certainly agree to that.
I guess I have to first provide a little validity to my comments. I'm male, a genetic male, I'm atttracted physically to femmininity and also a strong will and personality, which often comes hand in hand with transgender women. They really have to be strong willed and brave to come out in this day and age. My last relationship was 4 years with the same mtof non op transexual. I've also had other relationships with trans-women.

It is really quite impossible to generalize what trans women want, i agree with you in saying they certainly should be referred to as women. There are however quite a few women who dont mind some of the slang words out there. transsexual, ------- t girl etc etc. I know alot of girls who refer to themselves as using different terms. It is important to them though that they are honest with men for their own protection and safety.
The whole ----- thing...
My gf had a ggood point of view on the subject, she used to say that some girls were in ----- denial. Some girls dont want to talk about, touch it, dotn want you to touch it, etc etc. My ex loved hers, many transwomen do Some love to use it, soem dont, its all personal and impossible to generalize everything that all women want or like.
Please remember I am not arguing any of your points, I'm just passing along some thigns I've encountered in the past. Really I'm just burning time and having a great discussion but please dont take any of my comments as negative. Anyone care to have a chat soemtime please dont be shy, I'm a very social person and would love to kill soem time with anyone up for a discussion abotu anything!

Okay enough babbling...I've lost my organization haha come say hi!

Nate

[(deleted)]

`Nate its your genes that are messed up! You have not got a clue .

You spent 4 years with a non opp TS and others then post that nonsense? .
i think you may have spent that time (if its true) with a Transvestite/cross dresser (no disrespect to them).

Your profile states "just figuring this all out" THEN "figured i would give this a shot" well i would have thought you should have figured it out after all that time (4 years plus more) so put your brain in gear before posting the garbage you have.
You are an admirer of transgendered women 'but' ones with a ----- so doe's that mean a post opp is off your list of things to do next? doe's a post opp Transexual not deserve a ralationship and love and most of all respect? because you admirers lose interest in TGs after the opp! "think about it" you are Gay! you are most likely in denial that you are Gay because most admirers are and the proof of that is it is so so easy for a pre-opp to find S-- 'but' once the ----- is gone so doe's "your" interest in trans women so has that person has gone through all of the heart ache of losing friends jobs family plus the mental turture to then be put on a scrap heap? Oh what a wonderful lot some of you admirers are , S-- s-- and more S-- and when it suits you just move on to the next victim.

You say "it is quite impossible to generalize what trans women want?" Try some respect . You are a first class example of fool who says one thing then contradicts it in the next paragraph.

You end you post 'Okay enough babbling' That is the part of your post that makes the most sense of all , it is just babble.You were given a brain so just use it.

Have a nice life Julia.



PS--You have been here for a few days and i just counted your favorites! 49 today , what are you a cleptomaniac too? and as for your choice of favorites well there are maybe 5 genuine TGs in that list the rest are just fakes so thats 5 out of 49! thats your high score so well done you cannot even spot the difference.

[(deleted)]

okay...I think that before you even read my post you had some pre conceived idea of who i am....I am not negative, i'm very positive, im never cruel, and am nice to every soul i come in touch with...I'm very laid back and really try to enjoy all that I can in the short time we get in this life...
You stated my titles being giving this a shot and figuring this all out... haha you assume I meant transwomen...lol I think your thoughts were in the wrong place. "THIS" that I am referring to is the site. The website that we are on...so wheni say I am figuring "this" out and I'll give "this" a shot i was talkign abotu the website...
Secondly, lol, I did the whole "maybe I'm gay" thing for several years... I eventually stumbled into a relationship with a transwoman that just happend to be the best years of my life. but unfortunatly apperently all good things must come to an end.
Finally, I just happend to enjoy what my ex had to offer, was there anythign wrong with that? She chose to be a non op transexual because that was somethign that she enjoyed and was afraid to lose that enjoyment. I am a very open minded person and am willing to fall in love with anyone regardless of their race or gender identity, or s----lity.
i am just so sorry that you found anything i said offensive, and as for all the friend requests...I tried to contact as people as I could, why not be friendly!? thanks for the well wishes
nate

[(deleted)]

`Nate! I have read all of your posts on here , only 4 prior to this one but enough to figure you out.

Firstly as usual you are ashamed to show your face thats normal 'on here'.

Now the rest! You join this site wanting imediate attention so you introduce yourself 'i am ok with that' but then comes your post above i still say its garbage and if other TSs read it i am sure they would agree "and i mean TSs not TVs ect .

Your preferences as to your S-- life is up to you and i have no problem with that, it is as most men do always have to bring up the ----- part of a TS! we were born with it and any real transexual woman wants rid of it "but" and this is the part that realy gets to me , some transexuals hold on to that part of thier body however much they want it gone just so they do not have to lead a lonely life! "that is wrong" they hang on to it for people like you because once it has gone people like you lose interest! you and others like you are attracted to the male genitals "be a man and admit it" you do that and you will get a bit of respect from me because honesty is one thing that is lacking on websites like this it is all deception all the time .

I am not here to argue i have been there on this place and cleaned this place of a very nasty vindictive person, she is gone and i am not taking her place i am here to put the point of view that a lot of pre-opp Transexuals will not talk about and that is the opp.

I will make it easy for you and any other red blooded male reading this .Example: You go to bed and wake up in the morning with 2 very large breasts! SHOCK HORROR! You don't want breasts you are a man 'but' you then find out that if you get rid of those breasts knowone wants to know you , so how would you feel? you have 2 large breasts that are doing your head in but if you go to hospital to get them removed you get to spend the rest of your life with knowone ever wanting you for who you truely are- - are you thinking? not very nice is it? .

I realy just wish people would put a bit of thought into what we have to go through in our lives before even putting into words "the way they see it" because i am sorry to have to tell you this but you see it wrong , its not fair because we are all different so please in future try not to judge on just your experiences.

I make mistakes because i am human just like you and i always openly admit when i am wrong so heres a challenge for you . Admit your post is unjustified because it is only based on your own personal experience then i will come back on here and say " now thats a real man he admits he made a mistake" .

I am not saying you are a bad person as i do not know you i can only judge from what i have read and i am sorry but some of it is an insult to transexuals , not all of it just some of it.

Sleep on it or have a think and just hope that tommorow you do not wake up with 2 very large breasts because then and only then will you realy understand.

I am actualy going to wish you all the best and i mean that because at least you are trying to understand which is a lot more than i can say for some.
Julia .

[(deleted)]

Thanks for the quick response, as I really enjoy a desent conversation, it really is the biggest reason for joining the site, nto to be argumentative, but to have a desent conversation with an intellectual.
I do understand some of your points, they are valid, and im not callign you a liar, I am sure soemthing i said insulted you, unintentional of course. I am also a bit insulted by a few things that you brought up. I like how you "figured me out" from one bit of a babbling post.
OKAY, hmm where to start. Going back to really the start of puberty, attraction s----l desire, 12, 13 maybe My s----l fantasies were always of me in a lesbian relationship, me as a woman, being attracted to women, so oddly enough, there was a big part of my life that I really did want those breasts...lol so i 've definitly thought of that, but as you know and every transwoman knows, theres more to gender then s----l identification and attrtaction, so basically when i figured out i was a man i kinda dropped the whole breast desire for abotu 10 years. As i was living my life as an open, gay, malei also seriously considered transition myself, but once again s----l identity and gender identity are not to be confused, so i lost interest in that very quickly once again.


As for what i would do if my girl friend were to consider or go through with full GRS I dont know what I would do as I havnt gone through that. BUt I would liek to think I would do the right thing of course. I imagine i would stay with my girl friend because I would have fallen in love with her and not her -----. I think a four year relationship can certainly help you see that I fell in love with a person and not their genitals...There is ALOT more involved in a long term relationship then just sex, haha thats definitly the truth. I think we were slightly more worried about car payments, rent, paying the bills, and what we were doing on friday and saturday nights with friends and family then anything else.


I dont think I have an opinion on what you said about me "seeing it wrong", that may be a bit of ignorance on your part and you accepting the way I see it, as its all part of the big picture the way we all see I dont know if you believe wer creat e our own realities...I think there fore I am..that whole thing..anyways, thats very deep, for another conersation ...


As far as judgement...well i think we all judge, we all unitentionally judge others, i think everyone we see we pass judgement on its a human innate flaw, it is really hard to not judge someone. We hear something they say..and immediatly make an opinion, or we see what they are wearing, and pass judgement, we all judge, just as i believe i was judged by you, i dont think, you expected any intellegent response.


You want me to admit to a mistake? but i really dont know what mistake you are referring to you d also like me to admit that I enjoy -----. tahts easy...haha i do enjoy -----...does that make me gay though...no definintly not, as i am not attracted to men...at all.there is just no attraction there, rough hairy sweaty smelly eh, just cant get into...


As far as my attractions, I really like a strong personality, a strong will, determiniation, eage
ess to be successfullAll which through only my experiences can say that many transwomen have. I think in this world to fully transition a woman must have a few of those personaitly characteristics.


Physically attracted to athleticism, a girl who eats right or atleast knows what shes eating aand willing to excercise to offset the effects of the poor health habbit, im attracted to girls with a bit of muscle shining through, as I am an athlete myself and I think it is simply just somethign we would have in common, imattracted to shoulder s and necks, just mostly a girl in really good personal health.


I am currently writing this before the picture change, but I am takign a picture as we speak to post, and am more than happy to cam with anyone out there, i am certainly not affraid to show my face haha, but the picture i chose to put up really speaks a thousand words. I chose that picture becaus eit explains alot about me right now, I'm athletic, I am active, my life does get turned up side down once in a while, and i love the beach more then anywhere else...i ve been to anyways....


So thanks for responding, I really do enjoy our conversation, an thanks for helping me open up a bit, putting this stuff down on paper is a bit of a stress reliever, cant wait to hear from you see you soon!

Nate ps if you care to actually chat about this stuff, im on msn, skype, yahoo whatever, like i said im an open social person and love to talk and meet people!

[(deleted)]

`Nate! I am sure you are a very nice person and i have nothing again'st you personaly , you spent 4 years with a transgender woman and i commend you for that and if you done that openly with your friends family ect knowing that then i would personaly give you a medal but if you hid it as many do then that is wrong! so i don't know wether to say 'hey heres your medal' or the other .

You are actualy bringing some good discussion to this place , as it says on my profile i work along side my local police force and hate crime service plus any media outlet i can find to raise awareness about being transgendered .

Now there were 2 main things in your first part of this that made me respond and they were "it is realy quite impossible to generallize what trans women want" I still say the main thing any trans woman wants is respect! followed by understanding and to be treated as any other woman would be , it realy is not that hard to work out.
Secondly it was the ----- thing! Now i would like you to realy think about this. A true transexual woman doe's not want a -----! there are many reasons the majority hold on to that part of there body , in some parts of the world its the cost of the opp but most hold on to it for fear of not being wanted or loved and that is wrong as if anyone starts a relationship with a trans woman who desperatly wants the opp then that person 'should' stick by them and still love them as they are still the same person , the fact is in reality it rarely happens and that is a sad fact , now moving on to the ones who want to keep that part of thier body! they are not 100% true transexual ,don't get me wrong as that doe's not make them bad people .

If you look at the videos on the home page and watch the one with the transexual on the Jerry Springer show telling her boy friend that she was born a male you will see an absolutely stunning trans woman who 'could' be miss world being treated like dirt in public , ok maybe she was wrong not telling him but in a matter of a few minutes he went from loving her and wanting marry her to not wanting to ever see her again! "she is the same person he fell in love with" she could have walked out of that studio and ended her life over that one mans ignorance and to be honest he should have been flattered that this beautiful woman wanted him in the first place , i know some of this Jerry Springer stuff is sometimes a fix but it is based on real facts of life .

What you and me are doing here is called "teaching" others learn from what we are talking about and that is good and i wish others would join in with thier thoughts but i am fine with it being just you and me and maybe it is better that way.

I am going to thank you for opening yourself up in this forum as i have learned more about you what i would never had done and hopefully you have and are learning learning more about the way a transexual lives and thinks . My life is good but there are uncountable numbers who's lives are a misery and countless others who end thier lives because of the way they are treated by soceity because in others eyes they do not belong in there community .

We are all human beings and all have human feelings no matter how diverse everyone is . I consider myself lucky to have been accepted into my local community as the true me but my god it has been hard work getting them to accept me and now i am moving everyone says they will miss me and want me to stay.

We got off on the wrong foot but this is turning into something positive now .
Take care Julia .

[(deleted)]

`thnks for getting back....I'd love to actually get a chance to talk to you sometime...do you ever get on messenger like msn or skype or yahoo any of that non-sense? I agree with everythign you ve said here and it absolutly crushes me to find people who are depressed especialy to the point of suicide. I really wish tere was soemthign i could do, its such a waste to see a human life gone like that. ai think its something innatly inside of me, it reallllly really gets to me when i think abotu it and discuss it. My personality traits are really mostly caring loving, spiritually acceptable i dont know i guess to stereotype im a bit of a hippi.
I dont know why mroe people arent jumping in here! i'd really like to get this thing going, but i could only go so far i suppose.
anyways, come find me e mail me or something i can give you my messenger name if you care to chat there real time...

[(deleted)]

`Nate! i can see its you thanks for the effort .

What you have just written above is the reason i go out of my way at my own expense to 'try' to put a stop to the suicides .In the UK in 2010 there were 93 known cases of suicides in transgendered teenages aged between 14 and 19 years old plus one who was just 10 years old , those young people were just the "known" transgender suicides. When i found those figures i went to my local newspaper and asked them to run a story about it and it was not untill i told the reporter "that is like a plane crash" and if it was it would be on your front page! thats when it hit him , the next week i was on the front page trying to put a stop to it , since then i have had 4 newspaper articals featuring me and done 3 interviews for the BBC , i then got accused of being an attention seeker! believe me the one thing i do not need in my life is attention as i get enough of that already and thankfully it is all good , i try to explain to these people that they were just children who could have had a good life if they were left in peace to get on with there lives as the person they were meant to be not driven to be so desperate they had to end it all . Last week i received a message from someone on here saying "you are top of the most popular thing" so i turned my PC off as i am not here to be popular i am here to make friends and do what we are doing now speaking about "real life".

There is an online artical about me and this subject if you wish to read it just let me know and i will mail you the details so you can read it , it normaly would have been taken down by now but it has now been there for 9 months because of the interest it is attracting from around the world.

As for msn yahoo and all that nonsense as you put it i realy do not have time for that stuff right now , i am packing to move to my new home plus i work for myself so am short of time but i will always answer any email you send me via this place and when things have calmed down a bit for me i can let you have my personal email address , i can call anywhere in the world from my business line so maybe later we can chat properly but i have to get my move done first.

What you and i have just done here is proved how easy it is to get the wrong impression of another person .You are a decent man! we may not agree on everything but you have made an effort to put your points accross and so have i and it has ended in friendship , if everyone made that effort this world would be a much nicer place to live in for "everyone".

I have to go now i have things to do but i think i can now call you a friend .

You take care Julia x .

PS You look great x.

[(deleted)]

awwww, lol, after reading the last bit, I feel all warm and mushy inside. Thank you its really nice to know someone out there thinks highly of you and values an "earned" friend aswell as the next.
after slapping my self in the face and waking up to reality of the previous paragraphs, it inspires me to be a bit more active around here.
Thanks for being a positive influence in the world.
nate

[(deleted)]

`Nate It is true! together we have turned this into a positive discussion.

I know there are people on here who dislike me because i stand up for myself but if i did'nt i would not be the person i am today and if i had,nt in real life i would not be here today.

All of my efforts i have made to raise awareness i am aware that i have saved 2 young peoples lives , it maybe more but i only know of 2 but if i die tommorow then i have at least made a small difference and put my mark on this world.

I am not only proud of my s----lity but also proud of the fact that a few years ago i was very close to death and now i have completely turned my life around to being a very happy and successfull person , looking death in the face is not a nice place to be but at the time i realy did not care if i lived or died and my only regret is that i did not do this sooner , now i am old (and ugly) and the best part of my life has gone , next month i will be 54 and although i get told often i do not look it it is a fact .

It would be realy good if you continue joining in with the forums as a few weeks ago i actualy asked on here "am i the only one on this site with a pulse?".

I would like to bring up subjects to try to help others find the happiness that i have and how i done it but there is just no interest and that is why i say there are so many fakes on here! i know for a fact if they were who they say they are they would join in on topics here to share there problems and look for answers , on the subject of fakes it is not just based on that as i see pictures of people on here that have been knocking around other sites for a least 6 years (i wonder how they look now? ) fat and hairy i guess! otherwise they would take some fresh pictures , i am in the process of moving plus working but i can still find a few minutes in my life to take a few pictures and the reason i do that is because i want people to see how i look now not god knows how many years ago , if anyone see's me in the street they will know its me and i hold my head high because i earned my pride and earned respect and what anyone see's on my profile is the real me.

As for you feeling warm and mushy inside maybe you should see a doctor? but i think its because you are human.

Later Julia x x.

[1sebastian]

`@Julia, for the most part.

I am going to make one comment here. This can go for Transsexuals for both male and female. What you have in your pants does not make you any less of a woman, or a man. There is a no right or wrong to transitioning, and there are so many reasons why a transsexual may or may not get a bottom surgery. Saying this, I am sure we all feel that we naturally were born this way- science says it is from a birth defect which regards to our body not accepting hormones properly during birth which causes us to be born with a brain that is the opposite S-- of our body. I can understand it, but I know some of me also feels it's just spiritual but that comes to beliefs and so I won't dip into that jar. The whole point I am getting to is that, no matter what line you fall on during your transition, how far you go doesn't make you any less of a transsexual when compared to someone who has gone through SRS. I am a bit taken back, and also surprised to see such a stance from a fellow transsexual. I am not sure if your hard time through life has made you feel you had to do this or that to be accepted, or if you have standards for yourself that you are now pushing onto others? But transsexuals have a hard enough time with being accepted and understood, I hope you can take a second before you post things that are of an offensive and closed minded nature.

Seb