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Does liking a transexual make a man gay?
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This is getting stupid! I do not pretend i am not a transexual so why do men have to pretend they are not gay or bi? . Just be honest about it its not a crime you are in denial! you must be or you would find a genetic female.

I am gender identified female! that means a couple of experts got inside my head to figure out the obvious "but" i have not had my op so i therefore still have male genitals and some of the men i have met over the years have admited to me they would not be interested in me if i have my op so put your brain in gear and stop being so ignorant .

I will not name anyone but there is a particular post op on this site who "cannot" find a man and she is so beautiful and inteligent it makes no sense that knowone on this site is interested in her apart from the fact she has no male genitals `is that fair?' no its not because she finaly reached her goal in life to be left on the shelf and why? because her male genitals are not visable anymore.

I have said in the past that there are 2 reasons i cannot find a decent man and that is (1) i am to old and ugly or (2) because i am going to have my op so i "will" die alone , i am not bothered about that but it just shows how pathetic "most" men are and again that is a fact.

I will just go back to the "decent man" i just mentioned (whos existance is in doubt) . I live my life as me all the time and so i come into contact with men daily , i also get asked by a few if they can see me again , now i may be many things but i am not stupid and i know these men are married or seeing another person and i also know the ones who are not "but" they only want to see me in my home! not out anywhere like normal couples , oh no they may get spotted by one of thier friends or family "with a transexual" get the picture? s--- my life in some ways would be easier if i was transvestite at least i would know where i stand where men are concerned (no disrespect to transvestites).




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reigh




reigh

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Hi people,

This is my first time to look on forums here and this is one of the topic that got my attention.

a man attracted to tg/ts is man enough more than most straight guys. These kind of guys should not be -------- about it because they are still attractive to feminism, the only difference is that feminism is being possessed by TGs.

As for me, I base my point of view to what I have experienced about being in the relationship with men. Well, they're only few, like I have met 5 guys since I was 17. Im a serial monogamist so its a problem for me. Those few guys were first uncertain about having relationship with me. But I made them realized they don't have to be afraid of having what they want to have especially if that will make them happy. I find them man enough to pursue relationship with me because they have been gentle for me and treated me as a lady.

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phellum




phellum

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I don't believe that a man who is attracted to MTFs is gay or bi (though, the latter is a possibility if he also is attracted to men).

I wrote a bit about this in another post, but I think that there is a huge spectrum of three distinct traits that inform our attraction to another person: gender identity, ------ orientation and manifestations of masculinity/feminity. It is this last that determines how much weight one puts on anatomy, in my opinion, and may not reflect on ------ orientation.

I don't believe that post-op or pre-op really makes a difference in terms of ------ orientation. The fact that a man may leave post-op doesn't mean he's gay, it means he was attracted to a level of masculinity in a transwoman that he is no longer seeing - it was that combination of feminine and masculine that he was attracted to. That doesn't mean he's gay, though, it may mean he's shallow and focused solely on the physical. It may be no different than a man who dumps a woman after her boob job or facelift.

Nor does the interest in being a bottom or versatile in a relationship with a pre-op MTF mean one is gay or bi... an*l --- can be quite enjoyable even as a straight man. Personally, about 12 years ago, I dated a cis woman who wanted to explore performing an*l --- on me and, I have to say - it was my first time receiving an*l ---, and it was amazing... primarily because she enjoyed it so much. Yet, I have no desire to have a man perform an*l --- on me... none whatsoever. I am not attracted to men. Seeing how much she was enjoying it was a huge turn on for me. If an MTF is pre-op and interested in being versatile - if that is what gives her pleasure and she is comfortable with the level of masculinity she has, then... why not? I'm comfortable enough in my masculinity to know that having an*l --- doesn't make me gay whether the woman I'm with is using a strap-on or her own genitalia.

But, I also know that this versatility is not something I need in a relationship - I'm comfortable with someone who has no interest in that... just as I'm comfortable with cis women who have no interest in that (that's the only girlfriend who's ever expressed that interest)

A transwoman who is comfortable with her natural genitalia, opts not to get srs and is comfortable with using her genitalia is still a woman, right? So, why would a man who is attracted to that type of woman be gay or bi?





Last edited by phellum on Tue Jan 03, 2012 2:18 pm; edited 1 time in total
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cupoftea




cupoftea

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Thanks for such an interesting Article) However there were couple of comments I would like to comment on.
Like that MTF are in many cases more Feminine than a born straight Woman ,or how Straight woman takes herself for granted. I do understand, that it's difficult to be born in a wrong body, but sometimes it could be as tough when you born in right one. You can still feel very uncomfortable and awkward and confused. MTF transgender, knowing 100 % Who she is, but Looking like a Male, does everything to get rid of her Male like look.And Fights all her life, for the Right to Be Seen as a Woman. So this is where all this Strong Femininity comes from. They do everything to Look, and Behave like a woman. To be Defined as a woman. When some Straight Females, are uncomfortable with what they are expected to do, or expected to behave like,or expected to Look Like, just because they are Females. It may sound Shallow, but in reality it is tough, and it Hurts.
The Author of Article wisely pointed, that all Females are different. and the thing which makes them different depends on many issues. But It isn't all Because they take Themselves for Granted, in most cases anyway.


Always! That is a dreadful word. Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to make it last for ever

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Posted:     Post subject:

`cupoftea is on to something.

Individualities are intrinsically different for that is exactly what they are; individual. So we can safely assume that ------ity is a much broader and unique characteristic than we are brought up to think. We must not stigmatize and marginalize any ------ predisposition, promiscuous or not, (with the exception of the psychologically harmful ones) it's not a matter of choice, it's a simple matter of taste, and taste should not be politicized. If it is ethical, of course, nobody should respect being deceived or betrayed if they didn't want to or didn't agree with. However, people have all the right in the world to want and to be promiscuous, "extreme" and shallow, if it is con------- of course, and they should be respected by it.

I see so many TGs being critically negative to men who are ONLY attracted to pre-op MTF like it is a moral issue. Well, f- you, it is not. It's taste, and a very sensible and healthy one, so respect the right for people to have it. There's a fine line between being deluded and being progressive, pre-op or post-op will always be seen psychically different from GGs by someone and it is nothing short of fantastic that lots of men are attracted to that physical characteristic. Don't push yourself to have the world become what you think it should be, that's not sensible, and when the issue is taste, that is called tyranny.

Gender, however, is not so unique. No one must confuse gender with ------ity.
Gender is a personality formed characteristic but ALSO a genetic predisposition. This way, what you have to work with, your body, doesn't define it, as it shouldn't. So true gender is something that takes place inside your head, and in synthesis, it is not necessarily what will shape your susceptibilities regarding --- and what you feel attracted to.

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An interesting question! But I am a man, and I am attracted to transexuals mainly! and I can safely say that I don't find other men the slightest bit attractive. So, I see myself as a straight man with a catch? I don't know, but homosexual isn't the way to describe me :)

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coolsofy




coolsofy

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PostPosted:     Post subject: Great blog!!!!
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When it comes to me, you will never touch my -----. If you do you will make me cry and I will lose the mood. I hate that damn thing, it is a horrible thing to have to live with, being a woman with this "thing." Being with me -------- means that I will enjoy pleasing you and watching you being pleased with my actions. It gives me pleasure to see you enjoying me; the greatest joy when you are experiencing me, feeling me, seeing me as the person I truly am: Just a chick. I will get my ------ic pleasure later after the surgery.
BRavo girl, couldn't explain that better myself. I hate when guys try to cover their desire for d**K by insisting that is "part of our bodies" and it is BUT, it is NOT part of minds, and as a True Transgender woman that, goes to work, goes to school, and lives and breathes as the woman I am, I can definitely agree with you, very well said!

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`Whoa. Excuse me, who are you to say what a "true transgender woman" should be like?

Gender or biological configuration doesn't dictate attraction. ------ity does. Hence why all this comes to a simple matter of TASTE.

Where exactly is the problem to feel attracted to girls with vaginas AND girls with -----es? What exactly is the problem about a transgender girl wanting to live with her natural genitalia?

To think and to say it is a problem for pre-op girls to be comfortable with their genitalia as they're not "true transgender women" or to think we are bad men or somehow less of men for being attracted to them is so tremendously ignorant and retrograded it's obscene!

If you are transgender and you don't like it you should definitely change it, get SRS and be comfortable with yourself, but please please, accept that not every men will feel comfortable with an artificial genitalia. Don't keep spreading this primitive notion that men are horrible for not LIKING it. We are not, we are healthy and sensible men and this stigma shouldn't exist, especially in a group of people like this, I'm sick of hearing it.

Furthermore, if some think we are gay for being attracted to girls with -----es, that's fine, I love gay, I don't think I am one but I'm very supportive as everyone should be. Gay men are definitely NOT less men than straight men! The problem here is, gays like men, and we don't see girls as men, ----- or not -----. So, if we say we are bi-sexual, we're not being quite honest, are we?

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phellum




phellum

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PostPosted:     Post subject: Re: Great blog!!!!
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coolsofy wrote: When it comes to me, you will never touch my -----. If you do you will make me cry and I will lose the mood. I hate that damn thing, it is a horrible thing to have to live with, being a woman with this "thing." Being with me -------- means that I will enjoy pleasing you and watching you being pleased with my actions. It gives me pleasure to see you enjoying me; the greatest joy when you are experiencing me, feeling me, seeing me as the person I truly am: Just a chick. I will get my ------ic pleasure later after the surgery.
BRavo girl, couldn't explain that better myself. I hate when guys try to cover their desire for d**K by insisting that is "part of our bodies" and it is BUT, it is NOT part of minds, and as a True Transgender woman that, goes to work, goes to school, and lives and breathes as the woman I am, I can definitely agree with you, very well said! I understand that there are many transgender women who feel this way pre-op - in fact, I think those transgender women who don't share this view are more the exception than the rule. I think it's important for any man dating a transgender woman to begin with the assumption that she will not want attention paid to it... it makes absolute sense that she wouldn't. A man dating a pre-op transgender woman needs to be sensitive to this. And, I'm willing to bet that a woman who does want a man to pay attention to it will very quickly let them know that. I think it's an important discussion to have with a partner before getting intimate. So, yes... Bravo!... it's important for men to comprehend this.

But... I also have to respectfully disagree with the implication that a transgender woman who is comfortable with her pre-op anatomy is not a "true" transgender woman. I wholeheartedly agree that a man should respect how you feel and shouldn't try to convince you to accept a part of you that you reject. But, not every transgender woman feels that way and I think that should be respected as well.

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reigh




reigh

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reigh wrote: Hi people,

This is my first time to look on forums here and this is one of the topic that got my attention.

a man attracted to tg/ts is man enough more than most straight guys. These kind of guys should not be -------- about it because they are still attractive to feminism, the only difference is that feminism is being possessed by TGs.

As for me, I base my point of view to what I have experienced about being in the relationship with men. Well, they're only few, like I have met 5 guys since I was 17. Im a serial monogamist so its a problem for me. Those few guys were first uncertain about having relationship with me. But I made them realized they don't have to be afraid of having what they want to have especially if that will make them happy. I find them man enough to pursue relationship with me because they have been gentle for me and treated me as a lady.




I think one of the main reason that most guys who are -------- about their desire with TS/TGs is that they are afraid to be judged as GAYS by people surrounds them.

I understand how it feels to be judged this way. Those kind of people that consider you as gay are either narrow-minded, stupid or unaware about the existence of TS/TGs. Either way, you have your own mind to choose what you want for yourself. They may say bad things about you, but don't let yourself say those bad things to yourself.

Most locals here don't know yet about TG/TGs existence, so they consider TS/TGs as gays. One time a guy approached me expressing his interest to know me, but when I told him that I'm not totally born as girl, he was surprised and at the same time disappointed. He criticized me about being me that he thinks that it's all wrong, but I told "look sir, I understand how you feel and I respect your viewpoints about me even it really hurts, but you must respect what I want to do with my life as my life never bother yours. You have said hurtful things to me but I will never say those things to myself". With this, I earned respect from him, we talked more and we became friends.

You see, What people criticized about me didn't stop me from becoming who I am. No one should tell what to do or how to act, i have my own mind to do what I want, and chose what i should become.

So guys, if your problem is what the people will judge you from your preference, cut it off. For me as a TS/TG you're still men seeking for feminism.

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`Does liking a transexual make a man gay? No. You would called Pansexual. Pansexuality, also referred to as omnisexuality. Pansexuality "encompasses all kinds of ------ity; not limited or inhibited in ------ choice with regards to gender or activity. Pansexuality, however, composed with the prefix pan-, is the ------ attraction to people of all sexes or genders. Using these definitions, pansexuality is different in that it includes people who are intersex and/or fall outside the gender binary. A Transgender identity, opens up a gender continuum rather than a gender binary rubric but does not discard or disregard the idea of gender altogether.



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`I do not believe liking a transsexual makes a man anymore gay than a man who never had any gay feeling or experiences and his wife has FTM SRS surgery and they continue their relationship.

My point is that I believe some people have evolved to be attracted to the person inside not the outer shell. I believe people should be looking for someone who is like minded in their views, goals, and they are comfortable with rather than what is or is not between their legs.

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goffin




goffin

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`Really interesting thread. A lot of good points were brought up, yet mainly what caught my eye is whether a man should consider himself gay if he has attraction to TS/TG woman? Well with all honesty I find TS/TG women just as attractive as any other woman, and do not think of myself as a homosexual. Feminism is what attracts a heterosexual male to a woman, whether its a TS/TG woman or not.

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godzillaeyes1




godzillaeyes1

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Honestly, it shouldn't matter, but it does to society. Because, the difference between getting married and not getting married is what appears on your birth certificate or papers that signified that you have had surgery. IT can mean the difference between someone being completely open with you versus you being a secret. That's just ugly society at work.


Validation is everything.

If man prefers pre-op transsexuals over post-op transsexuals, he actually says he likes one better than the other, then he has to be somewhat bi-sexual or bi-curious. If he prefers certain ------ acts or even bottoming with a transsexual, he's thoroughly bisexual.

If he doesn't have a preference for either pre-op or post-op, while he does perform certain ------ acts or want certain ------ acts done to him...he's more straight than anything.

I've never seen too many gay men who were attracted to transsexuals, it would contradict being gay or homosexual, unless they are bisexual, which does happen sometimes.

Sexuality is fluid than it is stagnant. YOu can be homosexual in the early part of your life, and literally become heterosexual at the latter part of your life. Our preference can and do change, like everything else. Why can other things change in our life, but not ------ity. There are people have turned and enjoy being asexual. Just as some people have fetishes and preference at one spectrum of life, and are into something else at another stage.


I've made ------ journey of my own I went from a very young gender confused person who was obsessed with mammary glands to a person who was attracted to all sorts of women of all shapes, sizes, and persuasions, regardless if they were flat chested or big chested, fat or skinny body types. When I started to become more feminine, I started to date and have --- with men and other trans people (MTF/FTMs). Now as a womyn who is transitioning, I'm pansexual, though I have a preference (not based on physical traits) towards women, gender queer individuals, genderless inviduals, and FTMs/MTFs transsexual, though if I met a nice man who is nice and I fall in love with...he'll be the "ONE" for me.


When comes to chasers, admirers, "the chicks with d---" lovers, androgynous lovers, or even specifically heterosexual men who feel transsexuals are special class of women or somehow better than ordinary women. It's hard for me to feel that way about them on the surface, because I don't feel that way about men. Like all other humans on the planet, I don't feel like men are special in anyway or have magical qualities about them that other people cannot posses. I can feel that way about a particular individual, but not just on singular man or type of person, especially based on pure physical traits or even qualities like personality. On the other hand, if I had ------ for Korean pop stars, do you think any single one is going to care if I had ------ for them . Probably not.

For example (hypothetically), if I like Rain the Korean Pop singer (Let's just say I knew him personally and he knew me before he was famous, we dated), that doesn't necessarily mean I like Koreans, Korean men, Asian men/women, pop stars/music, androgynous looking men/people, or good looking men in general.

You might could stick any kind man, woman, trans person, or even type of person into there and wouldn't necessarily change, how I felt about that man in particular. Let's say I love him as much as garbage man or stock boy, as much as I did when he was a pop star.

This is why you see a successful, handsome, super rich man date or still married to a plain looking (in everybody else's eyes) woman, or why you may see a beautiful model or movie star date a rather average looking less successful man. People think those are the weirdest type of relationship in the world, yet they tend to be the most genuine. Because love is there in spite of certain qualities that people often champion.


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Posted:     Post subject: men

I'm a 4 1/2 year post op TS. I've come to the conclusion that men that date Transgender women want a ----- 99% of the time. Are they gay? I would say yes. I think they are a subset of the gay community just as drag queens are. I think it could also be classed as a ------ fetish.
Dating as a post-op TS has been difficult to impossible to find a man not only interested in ---. I'm a fairly attractive, intelligent, Trans woman with many great qualities and yet my last guy dumped me without even a text message and started dating a pre-op Trans woman not on hormopnes with big b--bs and a big ----- who charges him for ---.. How humiliating is that?
Guys that I've met that are into TGs want b--bs and a d---, the bigger the better. Usually they want to perform oral --- and some want to be topped.
That is why I say they are gay. They often are attracted to effeminate gay men as well once they get started with TGs so they may be repressed homosexuals.
For me personally, I want a man to be attracted to me and love me in spite of being Trans, not because of it. I'm afraid it's never going to happen but I'm readyu to deal with that reality. I have no regrets about having SRS. I have decided to focus on making quality friendships and screw finding a boyfriend. After SRS and at age 59, my libido is pretty much non-existent anyway.

Nikki
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