What things said should throw up the red flag.

[(deleted)]

These are some examples of things said or done that should bring attention to
whether or not a person is serious or ready for a commitment or real dating.


1. Looking for a special girl. - they don't mean special as in "that special one".

2. Looking for a girl with something extra. - this is a no brainer

3. I am versatile. - this is an example of talking about s----l positions, which is a clear indicator that the individual is largely concerned with porking; not having a good relationship.

4. I like the best of both worlds. - disturbing that the description of what some women and men go through with opposite gender identitlies can be summed up with this insensitive comment.

5. transsexuals fascinate/ excite me. - well sounds like you need to drive up to the ---- store and buy some videos.

6. Pictures with shirts off in bathroom. - to me any man who has his shirt off in the bathroom by himself taking pictures of himself, seems a desperate for physical s----l gratification. Maybe good for one night stands.

7. I'm looking for a really passable lady or man. - this means the person would be embarrassed to be seen with you in public, if something outed you beyond anyone's control, that's lack of confidence.

8. I'm curious and new to this. - please go find an escort then


To be honest with you ladies and gentlemen it's not hard to weed out @ssh*les on here. They are the ones who speak about s----l positions, genitalia, are overwhelmingly consistent in pointing out they are straight and not attracted to men. (Insecurity).They talk about submissive and dominant roles. Chances are if he is to "shy" or worried about being seen with you in public, then he can never fully appreciate or deserve you. This forum post isn't specifically targeting any one group. It covers a broad spectrum, MTF, GG, GM, FTM, straight, bi, gay.

It is not wrong if you are not looking for a conventional relationship. Just be upfront and honest about what your looking for. After all how can you find it if no one knows what your looking for?

If this kind of dating scene or any other dating scene is what you want and hope to find success through then do yourself a favor and invest some time in learning how to better interact with the specific group of individuals you are interested in dating. There is plenty of articles and documents featured once you put your search engine to good use.

[glosmouse]

`Agree about the shirts off thing -plus where's the excitement of undressing someone for the first time when you've seen most of it before you've even said hello?? What's under the shirt should not be the selling point, what's in the head or heart would be a much better indicator of what a person can offer!! In my experience people who show their bodies off that eagerly rarely have anything else to offer!!

[(deleted)]

`Hi Johnny!
This is a very well written & helpful information! Thank you so much for taking the time to write it ^_^

[marievan]

`Johnny that is great. I like how you put things.

[(deleted)]

`Nice post Johnny

Here are some other red flags...
"-------"
"-------"
"transsexual" (I wrote "T ranny" but when i posted the message it made it "transsexual"? can i get a wtf?)
etc
Guys who call us that really have no clue at all and are best avoided like the plague

[(deleted)]

`Thank you all. It is the truth. Believe.

[(deleted)]

`well said johnny :)

[godzillaeyes1]

`Other things:

* An excessive number of S-- questions: Does it (your genitalia still work)? What makes you really h----?

* transsexual woman going through transition, I want to be seen as a woman, not some freak of nature or some mythological creature).

* I'm in a relationship, but I've always had a desire for tgirls/lady boys/transsexuals/transvestites/cross dresser.

* (most distasteful I've heard) T-girls cannot have kids from f#cking them raw, you don't need a condom for them.

* Why can't t-girls just be happy as (pre-op) tgirls and have inclination to be just like a (cisgender) women. Regular women are lacking that extra something.


* T-girls are supposed to like men, since they've been dying to have the attention of men... that's why they are all glamed up.

* Are you part-time or full-time? I would really prefer that you be full-time, if you are part-time ... how PASSABLE are you?

* I want a t-girl, because they will do things that regular girls won't do...

* I'm not gay, I'm very straight, it's something special about t-girls, why do they always want to hide their genitals or have surgery, they are perfect the way they are.

* I hope you are not escort, most tgirls I meet or have had relationships with turned out to be escorts.

[(deleted)]

I sympathize with people who get tired of hearing the same stale, insensitive comments. But maybe you're being a little too hard on the men here.

For example, if I know I'll only be happy in a relationship with a Pre-Op, it's disrespecting both of us to conceal that by being too polite to ask. I mean, I want a serious relationship, but do you want me to come on to you and then later back off because I don't like the plumbing? *That* seems more disrespectful than just being honest and saying, 'I want a partner who can top.'

[(deleted)]

`@humbear. If you want a weenie, then go hit on a guy.

[(deleted)]

I agree this with list for the standards it is holding. Those are in fact red flags for someone whose standards exclude anything related to the gay lifestyle or indicators that someone is into specific types of ----ography. However, I mind you that this list IS MOSTLY a red flag for transsexuals who have limited exposure to ----ography, have limited knowledge of gay culture, may have a physical condition that causes someone initially born male to appear female (kleinfelters syndrome or extreme forms of cisgender, for example) and who are mostly familiar with straight culture and/or are mostly attracted to females. However, aspects of this list ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT necessarily a red flag for transsexuals familiar with the gay lifestyle or have an obsession with ----ography themselves. A few of these supposed indicators of a red flag are also not necessarily valid for transsexuals who feel that they do not need to transition everything about themselves and might legitimately be looking for a healthy relationship with or without the thought of finding someone beyond a friendship type level.

Also, some of these indicators of a RED FLAG are more indicative of a man with LIMITED EXPERIENCE with transsexuals or even women in general. It could also be that the specific man in question just knows nothing about how to approach someone he finds attractive.

It all goes back to what sort of standards a person holds and the fact that there is EXTREME DIVISION among the standards that are held by transsexuals and for the reasons that a specific person has chosen to transition from male to female. There are certainly individuals from all camps present on dating websites and in forums such as this. It certainly does not help that there are transsexuals who have such divergent views that they even show hostility towards one another in ways that only an ignorant people would show towards say a different race of people or cultural emphasis, for example.

But when it goes down to it, no matter what camp you are from whether or not you are successful in finding a significant other all comes down to the compatibility of the people in question and whether or not they can treat each other respectfully and decently enough to have a worthwhile relationship. And also whether or not they understand themselves enough and know what they want enough to have a healthy relationship with someone else. That's the key right there.

And also keep in mind that when you truly know what you want and open yourself up to the world knowing it, you are putting yourself in the spotlight. Some people are going to love you for what you stand for while others are going to despise you for what you stand for. So long as what you are really looking for is legitimately conducive to a healthy relationship and ultimately those are the results, then the end justifies the means. So long as you are happy about it, at least; you don't have to keep anyone in your life that makes you unhappy.