Dangers of Dating

[alaenagirl]

Hi everyone my name is alaena - i wish to share an experience with you all, because i feel we tend to forget how dangereous it can be at times for us.

three years ago i left oklahoma city to ---- -- with an old girlfriend of mine that moved to the southern part of california, my family lives in central california - to make a long story short about the girlfriend. i didnt let her know at that time that i am transgendered.

so i figured i could make things right the second time around. well after two months together things went south very fast, she couldnt handle me being a girl... needless to say that night we broke up, so i was gonna go see my family, but i stopped off at a bar.

i met this gentleman there, he seemed alright with the ideal of me being a girl in transistion. needless to say we went to a hotel room he had and did the wild thing "sex" - after which we fell asleep together.

it must have been at least an hour later when he woke me up and ask me to --- him again, which the first round was pretty good, so naturally i was game for it. but this time he wanted to handcuff me to the bed. i thought it was a bit off the wall, but at that moment i figured what the hell, i'll do it.

after i was secured to the bed, thats when things got really weird. he started burning with a cigarette he lit, the more i begged him to stop the more excited he got. at this point all i could do was place myself somewhere else out of reality. when he noticed i wasnt responding to him anymore is when he got extremely violent and beat me severely...

after he left i laid there for what seemed like forever, at times i really thought i was dead and had to question myself, the maid found me the next day. i was hospitalized overnight, and i heard from other girls later that he got caught somewhere in canada...

the point is i just wanted to share my experience with you all, in hopes that this will not happen to anyone else...

so please stay safe, carry pepper spray with you and always leave yourself a way out...


love alaena...

[(deleted)]

`What a terrible experience you had, Alaena. I'm so sorry it happened.

After this happened to you and you looked back on meeting this guy, were you able to now see any signs in him that now you see as warning signs?

It's freaky to think that some guys will pretend to be one thing and then turn out to be another. I always meet a guy at least once in a safe public place. I don't give out my phone number because I figure the guy might be able to figure out where I live from it. But how in the world can we be sure that a guy who seems nice after email, safe meetings and getting to know him won't turn out to be someone who wants to hurt us?

[(deleted)]

[deleted]

[alaenagirl]

`Thank you sweetheart - i really didnt have any warning signs, i just learned to be more carefull.

it took me a long time to be able to even think about dating, even today when i go out, in the back of my mind i always ask myself, "whats gonna happen this time " then i just go on... not to mention the horrible nightmares i have once in a while, where i get to relive it all over again...

but it was a few years ago, and i came a long way since then, thanks to my family friends and peer support groups...

i just want the girls to be aware and be safe...

love alaena...