Evalldiva, 40

seek A good friend. Sometime just been wondering
if I had borned physically female,
what would my life have been ?
who would have walked beside me ?
dreams i had, would have been successful?
how far life would have taken me ?
I was afraid of thinking, afraid of dreamimg
the fact that it couldn't have been possible
the fact that it wouldn't have been fixed forever
Should I hate myself, hate what i am
surely "NO"
I knew how much lucky i was, at least
how many of them out there were severely suffering?
some are disable, some are homeless
Life is not created perfectly
I, threrfore am proud of myself,
proud of talented abilities
given divinely to fill my deficiency...
many times I often asked myself
if i had borned as girl
would my life have been better ?
the answer of mine :
If I now weren't what i was,
I would be ugly fat --- girl
obsessing with foods and deserts
I would be simply stereotype of desperate housewife
none of style, none of make-up
I would have an ordinary life in my home country
fulled with fears and unable to express myself confidently
last but not least, i would get married,
be a housewife and be dumped soon or later

Do not want to see when blinded
Do not want to cry when dump
Do waste time with unfixable mistakes
Because there is a good side from the different angles
Always...