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Why is it so hard to find love?

 
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Posted:     Post subject: Why is it so hard to find love?

This is my explanation of why it is so hard to find love being Transexual /Tg.

I have over the years been on various transgender web sites and on a lot of them i see girl looking for girl "they call it trans lesbian" and although i find myself attracted to men i can see why girls go for girls (that is ts/tg and ts/tg not genetic females) , it has something to do with understanding each other , i mean being the same it is easy to understand how the other feels.

So can a relationship work with a man? (that is if you can find one) well i think the one who is top of my list of idiots was a man who hounded me to meet him , i was not realy interested as i was not attracted to him in more ways than looks as he was not bad looking but we seemed to have nothing in common and boy was i right as one day out of the blue i got this message "This is your last chance because if you have your opp i will not want you" so he only wanted my male parts , i sent him a message back telling him to go find a man .

So would i think about having a relationship with another woman? in no way would i even think about a relationship with a genetic female but to be honest there is a slight chance i may think about being with another TS if i found myself attracted to her and the reason for that would be the understanding of each other because if you are with a person who cannot understand who you are then what is the point? .

This subject could go on and on realy so for now i will stick with being alone as if i never find a man who will stick by me i will most likely die alone but then again if thats how it is meant to be then so be it , i am happy in my heart and life with more friends than i can count and thats enough to keep me going.
Would be nice to hear your thoughts.
All the best Julia .

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kenjamin




kenjamin

Joined:
September 9, 2011
Posts: 3

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`there are guys out there julia... I for one am one of those guys, i just haven't been given the chance to love. Hang in there :)

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scatman




scatman

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October 15, 2011
Posts: 1

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It´s so hard to find love because people in general is afraid of happiness and love is the thing that really brings us happiness



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sophiatv




sophiatv

Joined:
November 22, 2009
Posts: 3

PostPosted:     Post subject:
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`"Why is it so hard to find love?"

that's exactly my question, too.

but i guess it takes a lot of patience and luck to find the right one.

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former member default image - bird flying away

(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`They say when you stop searching,for something thats when you find it...in that case I am going to stop looking for love and let it find me. Maybe that will work :)

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former member default image - bird flying away

(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`I think the only reason they say that ncamanda is because when people look for love they tend to look for a specific set of traits that they think they want or need to be happy. When they stop looking then they are more likely to get to know people rather than passing them by because they don't fit all the criteria of their check list. To fall in love with someone normally takes time, and with time your bound to find flaws but you may also find yourself overlooking those flaws because how you feel when your around that person. It's sad that sometimes wanting something bad enough may be what is robbing us from getting it, but I'm sure someone like you will eventually find it.

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lancashirechil




lancashirechil

Joined:
January 19, 2011
Posts: 1

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`I wish i knew why its so hard to find love. I am desperately Lonely here, i really am. i think i'm going to be alone for ever - yet other people seem to have loads of love. i cant bear being this lonely, I'm 45 and have hardly ever had love in my life, just heartbreak and disappointment. Britain, is a lonely place. Good luck... I'm off to bed.
Mark x

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godzillaeyes1




godzillaeyes1

Joined:
June 25, 2012
Posts: 21

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I understand @ Julia4you.

With me being a pansexual, having a gregarious-eccentric, yet strong personality, and pretty non-mainstream approach, I often wish that I could attract all sorts of people from different persuasions, backgrounds, and expressions. I met people from all walks of life and experiences, yet I don't think anyone has genuinely falling in love with me (obsessed maybe with what I can do for them).

I tend not to attract people who are similar to me in personality or maybe someone I have alot in common with interests, hobby wise, education-wise, and worldview. Vibrant spirits, eccentric/quirky personalities, yet sociable and down-to-earth. I make many friends, like that, but not many would see me as a realistic love interest (I'll touch on that point later).

Most of the people I attract tend to be opposite, and at this point in my life as a woman in a pre-op phase. They tend to only be men, both online and offline. Who do fall into either of these categories (not saying anything is wrong with these things for other people): Just looking for a quick booty call, a side piece (already in a relationship or married), someone wants to experiment with a transsexual, or someone who is more or less a (closeted) notorious transsexual chaser.

These type of people often remind me of the Borg, like from Star Trek or worse, as I sometimes refer to them as S-- zombies. I see a person who is so se---lly consumed or dominated that they can even put up facade or even care to put up one. They approach you or talk to you in the same manner that the perpetrators do on "To Catch a Predator." There personalities do range though some can quite aggressive and assertive, like an alpha male, while others can very passive and accommodating. Regardless, if they are jerks or nice guys, they're intent is the same to catch some kind of magical ------- that exists in ----os and fantasy movies who is more feminine than any woman, well-endowed all over her body, submissive (or dominant), and has the power of the ----- in her possession. Yeah, I'm not up for that.

Because, honestly, they could care less about me as "the AWESOMELY NERDY LIBRARIAN IN TRAINING," ME as REALLY KNOWLEDGEABLE CREATURE OF SPORTS and MOVIES," "Me as the CARING FRIEND or MOTHERLY FIGURE," "ME AS THE ECCENTRIC WEIRDO who FIGHTS STATUS QUO." "ME AS THE WARRIOR" or "ME simply as who I am."

None of that matters, it's about how wide my hips are, how large my breasts are, and how much my booty bounce from up and down." Even, how well I can take a c--- in my mouth or other assorted body parts. It dehumanizes me, so quickly. That's problem with alot of people who are sensitive or understanding of LGBT people in general, specifically trans people. That's the quickest way to break someone's heart or have them dislike you is basically to dehumanize them. Unless, they like being humiliated.

To some, I'll sometimes say that I'm in a relationship, and some have given me the answer, along the lines of "I don't care about stuff, like that" . . ."Your girlfriend cannot satisfy you in the way a man can" . . . "Whocares nobody else has to know, I have wife myself" . . . "Why do you care about that, we just having fun."

*vomit bag*

As I've said earlier in another thread, when it comes dating, like everything else, politics, the workplace, or etc. People (not everyone) tend to fall into one of three categories - they tend to be deceitful, selfish, or cowards. With me, the people that I attract fall into those categories heavily... if they are in the closet or can only connect to tgirls on a s----l level, they are cowards. Selfish, only means they are only looking to help themselves, while deceit typically accompanies that.


My frustration . I try to be a good person who is not selfish, deceitful, or cowardice, but yet I feel you almost need those qualities to succeed or get ahead in life.


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former member default image - bird flying away

(deleted)









Posted:     Post subject:

`I have always had trouble finding a good date or partner. I am the nicest person you could meet and still no one gives a chance. I mean in general people love me, but when it comes to romance, oh dear!
I even tried online dating and I always get these phony people asking for money etc. So annoying!
So what I do now is just do what I need to do and be patient. It comes when you least expect it. The reason I am here is to make penpal buddies, friends and if I do find love here, wonderful!!

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