Does liking a transexual make a man gay?

[(deleted)]

There will always be individuals who are trying to figure themselves out, who don't know what their attraction means. Once in a while, you might find a guy who desires --- that requires a ----- besides his own, and he wants to associate it with a feminine body. He might or might not be gay, battling internalized homophobia, or perfectly well-adjusted and of any orientation. But there are those who would seek to experience --- with a transsexual, man or woman, who want simply the experience. They might make you feel like an object, or a means to an end. These are not people who see you for you. Some transsexuals are okay with that.

Ironically, you never hear anyone accuse a transman of being gay because he wants to be with a transwoman, or vice-versa.

Obviously our genitals are not who we are. We make love to people, not to their organs, and we use the ones we've got, whether we prefer we were equipped differently or not. Like another user said, a partner may just want you to feel the same satisfaction, but I would go so far as to say that inasmuch as not everyone's gender identity is aligned with their biology, I would pose that not everyone's genital preference is aligned with their gender preference (in partner). There's the person with whom you prefer to have sex, and then there's the kind of --- you like to have, and those are two different things. The adult toy industry does very well for itself.

It's not breasts and curves, either, that make a transwoman a woman; there's an innate sense of being that she carries with her which permeates every aspect of her. The same is true of a transman. When we separate gender from biology, we're referring to that innate sense of being, and it's also the thing that inspires hate in those who take it out on anyone at all who doesn't fit into their idea of what's 'normal'. That the same person who would accuse an effeminate man who identifies as a man of not being a real man would turn around and accuse a transwoman of being a man is preposterous. (I should probably clarify here that I'm not trying to draw a comparison between the two, but pointing to a flaw in hater logic in which they tend to take various identities and put them on a 'conflation spectrum' that conforms to their convenience and which fits their attitude at any given time.)

Straight people don't define each other first by their genitals, because it's a given they take for granted; to define someone by asking them to hike up their skirt or unzip their fly is downright barbaric, and it sounds absurd when you put it that way! Attraction to her ----- doesn't make a man gay any more than a strap-on makes a lesbian straight. Attraction to his vagina doesn't make his female partner a lesbian, or his gay or bisexual partner straight. If I enjoy penetrating him, it's because he's a man I like to penetrate, not because I'm after his vagina.

If it were all about -----es and vaginas, we could all just bed any --- we wanted, and we wouldn't have to have any standards about it.

Additionally, this is one reason why I resent the notion (voiced above) that bisexuals can't have their needs met by only one partner. I've always understood my bisexuality to be an openness to a variety of persons, and the freedom from the pressure to discriminate between partners based on their genitals. This does not mean, however, that when I find a partner of one --- I need to complement them with a partner from the other (another). We can commit. That's a fear our partners harbor, that they're not enough, and a stereotype that needs to be abolished. To say that one cannot fulfill all of their fantasies with a single partner, because they are bisexual, throws us all onto a very cramped ship. I choose my partners based on who they are, regardless of their genitals, rather than choosing two partners based on their genitals. If I feel the need to switch between my attraction to various genders as often as having more than one partner would require, I simply gravitate towards people who are more gender-versatile, because I like the comfort and security of an intimate, monogamous relationship. For me, bisexuality represents a greater capacity, not a greater craving.

[(deleted)]

I think rylie says it perfectly. I consider myself bisexual, but much prefer the company of women as is evident in my having two children. I have had relationships with other men and the attraction to either --- is not tied to labels; man or woman, gay, bisexual, str8, hetero, homo, it is tied to emotion.

I will caveat to that by saying that --- is great, i do not deny that, in any form, but I HAVE NOT ended a relationship because the --- was bad. All of my relationships (at least the ones I've ended) have been for purely emotional reasons. Take my exwife for instance, she is my exwife because she slept with a friend of mine while i was deployed to afghanistan in 2007 so hence the emotional end to the relationship. It is about that of sense how happy you are with that person.

I know this may sound corny (and im sure some will take it as such) but it is about finding that soulmate. Men can be just as commited as women and emotionally tied to a partner regardless of the label. The point I am trying to make i guess is that its all about emotion and attraction regardless of outward appearance or in the case of this discussion, gender.

I do not know what type of discussion this will create, (because many of the males on here seek a conquest and nothing more) but either way i know what type of person i am regardless of how poeple see me or judge me as a male. I hate any label and "gay" is no exception why cant we all just be people? I have seen enough hate in the world for everyone and wish others could just learn tolerance for others.

[soran]

If you're a man, and you are attracted to a transwoman, then you are completely straight. After all, you're attracted to a WOMAN and not a man. So no, liking a transwoman doesn't make you gay.

Edit: after having read the wonderfully eloquent essay by Rylie I felt the need to edit my... not so well-worded post. I agree wholeheartedly with everything in that post. It's amazing how much substance was covered there, and I couldn't have said it better myself. Props to Rylie!

[(deleted)]

`Hmm, it is an interesting question. My short answer would be no. It is my personal belief that there are times when nature shows it's self by putting things inbetween; putting the spirit of a woman inside the body of a man and vice versa. IMHO - The transgendered person's psyche *is* the woman/man they dedicate themselves to making their bodies. There is nothing to my mind that embodies the strength of will/character or is more honorable than being true to one's self. This (especially in this case) can be harder for some than others.

I have heard it suggested that the living body works to transform it's self over time into a living replica of the spirit. If the spirit is that of a woman trapped in the body of a man, then it stands to reason I think that the individual will become who they truly are.

In older times and cultures the transgendered were considered powerful magicians, healers, and deserving of respect. I am a Celtic reconstructionist, and I will use the fire festivals as examples.

To the Celts anything that could be considered "betwixt" was mystical. Be it Samhain or Bealtaine, dusk or dawn, or even the threshold between one room and another. Samhain and Bealtaine are neither summer nor winter, as dusk and dawn are neither day or night, and the threshold is neither one room or the other.

IMO - The transgendered person - those who are honestly between genders; exist in a very similar reality, and as such are a source or maybe even an example of the betwixt in human form. Just as the seasons can be, or the time of day.

Such things are found through out nature so why not people too?

So - does being attracted to a trangendered person make you gay? Well in the end I think it will depend greatly on the onlooker's preconceived perceptions, their systems of belief, thoughts on ------ity etc.

Where as you and I may say no, others will say it does, and for them at least, it will be true.

Sexuality is such a fragile thing, people can easily take it to seriously and let the opinions of others matter more than they should. It is easy to forget, when it is you being "targeted," that what is "sexy" is always subjective. What one may see as beautiful and sexy, another may see as perverse and bad;and vice versa.

I think I've rambled on enough. I'll simply say some of the most beautiful works of feminine art I have beheld have been transgendered women.

"Níl gach uile fhánaí caillte!" Is an Irish Gaelic proverb that means "not all who wander are lost."

Slan!

[(deleted)]

Quote: A TS woman is NOT a gay guy! That is, however, sometimes rarely true for TV's and CD's, (majority are straight), but that is NOT TS. TS's are not homosexuals, and that is a medical fact. If a TS were gay, she would be attracted to women, and be a lesbian. Anytime she is attracted to guys, she is straight.

I'd like to make a slight complaint with this part. I realize this is an older post, and will probably not be read by the original author anymore, but I have one objection in the last sentence.

A TS woman can be attracted to women, yes, that does make her a trans lesbian, and that's fairly common in the community. But a TS woman that is attracted to guys is not ALWAYS straight. I'm bisexual, I'm attracted to girls and guys. I like lesbians and bi women, and I like straight and bi men. And my partners have always identified in one of these ways. Really, for me, only straight women and gay men are out, since both are exclusively attracted to men, of which I am not.

Any of these combinations can and do exist, and the same comes with trans guys, only flipped.


~Taelyn

[(deleted)]

`Taelyn, I'm glad you brought up that point. We often portray a pretty unflattering picture of MTFs as promiscuous cross dressers chasing after men, don't we?

We should always be aware of behavioral/medical conditions that pertain to a group, but more importantly, we have to see what's normal for the individual.

That being said, being attracted to MTFs may be a deep psychological effort for a repressed guy to express his true gay nature. That could also be true of a man who's only attracted to women with short hair. Or, more likely, it's nothing. It doesn't matter too much except in terms of a relationship.

[michellejames29]

`Hi a little confused with the development of this thread. I am a mtf cross dresser, who has always been attracted to females. I do not consider myself gay at all. I enjoy the attention i get from males, because they recognise my femininity. If I went all the way with transformation I would be seeking a female. However, part of me longs to have a ------ encounter with a male, just for the experience lol. I guess that is why I am here.

[(deleted)]

`they are women. period. another type of women, thats all. people should stop thinking that being attracted to transsexual woman makes them gay because if you are attracted to them, then you are attracted to what they appear (women). sure, there are some men that are into pre-op transsexuals, but what's between your legs shouldnt have to classify you as a woman or as a man. if they feel they are women and behave and look like those that were born female, then in no way should they be considered anything else. i like women,and transgers are women to me.

[(deleted)]

The answer to the question is NO
Like some of the others who've posted here, I find mtf transgendered people attractive because of their feminine qualities.
i would have no intention when being ------ with tgirls to touch their pen*s.
i just wana point out a few things to prove my point about how i feel about this -
when i watch ----, which im not ashamed to say i do, i watch the ---- clips with the titles "worlds most beautiful transsexual" and such. i do find the word transsexual offensive but i'll be honest, im attracted to mtf's, so thats just what i have to look for in order to find the content i want.
When i watch this stuff, im looking for the guy to hold the woman, make love to her, lavish her with kisses and treat her like a woman - she satisfies him or*lly and then he takes her in an embrace and enters her an*lly. if the tables turn and she starts to f*ck him and he's on his knees acting like a chick servicing her - then i turn off, cos that is not how a man and woman behave together in the straighest sense, and that is what a real woman looks for - a straight guy - not some half-gay looking for an excuse to suck d*ck and pretend he's not gay. and so that is what im attracted to - a real woman - whether she is genetic or trapped inside a body that was born with the wrong identity

craig24uk hit me up if you'd like to chat some more about this, or anything else x

[(deleted)]

Well, Ive asked gay men if they would date a transgirl and many of them said "oh hellllll no! I'm looking for a man!" for those who get too technical, yes I'm a genetic man, and since I haven't had my surgery, that really kinda makes me a guy on hormones. ----- or no -----, I came out the womb with male parts. I can live with that as people are entitled to free speech. But, when I go out as a girl... I am treated .... Like a girl.. And if they can tell, I present well enough to not have any problems and still get maamed.

Was I gay as a male?..... NOPE! This is one of the reasons therapists exist, lol. Being a straight male who transitions to female is one of the most effed up things my mind has had to go thru. Not all transwomen were gay men. Trust me.. Mr 44 mag revolver was once an option for a solution. Thx hormones and future plastic surgery! Oh, and support from my whole fam and friends.

[(deleted)]

I would say with me its more of "Exotic is erotic" ~ its uncommon and therefore pretty sexy. Dont get me wrong, I know someone whose mtf and im very comfortable with refering to her as "she" lol

Gender is a complex biological, hormonal, and psychological issue that won't ever be determined fully in black and white.

[sunbear85]

`I've had to deal with this issue. I'm open about being attracted to M2F's for their feminine qualities with no desire to be with a man. My gay and bi male friends seem to think that since I'm willing to please a pre-op that I'm into, that it makes me open to being with a man. That's a hell no, and just recently I've had a friendship sour due to a bi male I'm room mates with trying to jump on top of me in my bed. He actually got pissed because I ended up kneeing him in the face and swinging at him for forcing himself on me. If I do find a m2f that I really like and am in a relationship with them I'd have no problem pleasing her -------- because that is my woman. As a man it is my duty to please her, just like she wants to please me. How is it possibly gay to want her to be satisfied across all areas of our relationship? If post-op is the goal for us both then how can satisfying her -------- pre-op in any way different when pre-op and post-op she's still the woman I care for? Just don't understand why people can't understand that.

Edit was to clarify a little further.

[phatcamp]

I will never understand why people are obsessed with others ------ity. There are so many more important issues in today's world than whether a person like tacos or hotdogs(or both).

[(deleted)]

`Well that is what this post is about! what do you expect a discussion about the weather?

As for its title you do not have to be the brainiest person in the world to figure that out! Admirers are interested in pre-op Transexuals because of thier genitals and that = Gay and thats a fact because after the op the interest stops and that has been proven because the op takes away part that attracts men.

A post op transexual is a completly geneticaly modified female and you have no idea how hard it is for that woman to find love because after the op men disgard them like broken toys , the attraction and attention from males has gone = Gay and this and other websites like it would not exist , if anyone doubts this then just ask yourself why the admirers do not just find a genetic female from the start? and although we have to resort to places like this to find others who are interested in us it is completely unfair for any man to expect the woman to not fully transition but they do! Sad fact of life.

[(deleted)]

`I don't think so, if you present as a woman, and act like one then your a female, c--- or not. Just like a Ftm transman that presents as a man, then he is a man, with or without a c---. It is the essince of a person that is important. I find transmen to be much more desirable then bio men. But that is just my taste.