What was the most difficult part of your transition?

[melbtrans]

The hardest bit about transforming for me will be telling my 5 best friends i have had since and after school. They have been through a lot with me and vice versa.

I know from reading these forum post replies, lots have trouble telling family and child/ren, but in a way and i dont mean to be condescending or obnoxus or cruel appearing but my children are in permanet care because of a private situation.


So Telling my children is not an option till they are old enough to hear it from me on their own in their own time. I imagine it will be hard but i can only just imagine how hard it is going to be.

I sympathise with you all in the fact, our life change is not easy nor is it
to be ever easy but it is something we can not evade all our life.


Life is a river, sometimes far and wide, sometimes narrow and short,
But no matter the direction of the current, it is the person that gazes upon
the moonlight reflections that make the decisions for which they travel.

[(deleted)]

Hi all

I'm a new member, and I just want to say I think this site is great. I never talk about gender issues with people in 'real life', so this looks like a really good outlet.

I suppose I am pretty lucky, because the hardest part for me is changing my voice. I guess we all suffer from some degree of social and familial fallout, but fortunately, mine has been minimal. Every time I hear a recording of my voice though, I want to curl up and die. I seem to be making slow progress with my speech therapist. I hope we're not reaching the limits of what I can reasoonably expect to achieve.

Rachael

[mskatwoman02200]

the hardest part in my transition, was when my family saw me for the first time. My aunts were the hard one. but my family in cambodia were ok with it, my mom asked me if i ever going to marry a woman. i was like...hmmm no i have a boyfriend right now.

but it was not a big deal. cuz they already knew when i was young. they knew that this kid is something wasn't right.

also looking for school. that was kind of hard. cuz i dont want them to put me in men dorm or women dorm. it would be ackward. so yeah but now i got a place all by myself. which really nice!

oh also insurance. without insurance, i couldn't get my hormone done. i had to wait for about a year before i can get it. now i am on hormone which start to work very well :)

Sina

[laidbacklady]

`I have to say I have been so fortunate to have the support of friends and family but I do have many friends who haven't been so lucky and I feel for them - and for all of us out there who struggle daily against adversity.

My hardest challenge was day one at work - and having the courage to walk through the doors into the building on a one-way journey. However, my strategy was to buy doughnuts for everyone. At the checkout, the friendly assistant asked if I was celebrating something. "Yes" I said. "What?" he replied. I almost told him. "My birthday", I blurted. It seemed appropriate at the time and still does.

The dougnuts broke the ice - and eased the atmosphere. I'd strongly recommend it!

x

[(deleted)]

I have to agree with girl2doorsdown, dating is the hardest part of transitioning. To find a person that truly loves us for who we are, and not what we have, or don't have between our legs is very hard to accomplish. Sure, --- is easy to find, and does a great job of filling the void of lonelyness, but it begins to weigh heavy on the heart after 25 years. That's how long it took me to find a man that was truly straight, and loved me as the woman I am, in all the ways that matter to me. Prior to meeting Mike, all my dates were with men, and women that wanted something from me I was never able to give, due to a birth defect that resulted in sterility, and no mechanism to produce, and maintain an erction. So I can truly empythise with being desired for a part of me that truly digust me. Had I been born different, I might feel different... although I seriously doubt it. : )



TGIRLSHAYNA

[girl2doorsdown]

`2nd Toughest thing?

Learning to speak in a LOUD VOICE in the event of an emergency!

NO CRAP! I mean...think about it.

Here's what happened to me last spring:

There's a part of Pittsburgh called "Mt. Washington", which is basically a giant cliff that overlooks the city. Every year, towards the end of winter, we get a lot of land slides and rock falls from all of the freeze/thaw cycles.

On one particular day, the traffic was down to 1 lane coming up the long narrow road that cuts across the face of cliff because of some small debris that had fallen on the road. Now if you've read my profile, you might know that I'm the conscious type with way too much initiative, and even perhaps a lack of sound judgement at times. What can I do? Once a soldier, always a soldier. I have to do what I know is "right".

Anyway, I'm only a couple cars back from the congestion, so I decide to get out and help clear away some of the rocks so that the lane will be cleared and we can all FINALLY GET MOVING! (guh). So, a few people join in...and within a couple of minutes we have pretty much the whole roadway cleared.

All in a day's work.

Just then...as I turn to head back to my car...my spider senses began to tingle...and for some unknown reason...I looked up to the cliff where the rocks had fallen from.

Right as my gaze locks onto the cliff I can't believe my eyes. 50 feet over our heads a large boulder (about the size of a large 50 gallon drum) breaks away from the cliff...

...time seemed to stand still. You know, like in the movies when they cut to a slow-motion sequence to make the event REAL dramatic...? (Yeah, like that). I turned towards the group of oblivious rock cleaner-upers and yelled at the top of my lungs in my best Army Staff Sergeant voice, "LOOK OUT!"

LOL! Oh. My. God.

As I did that, people scattered like roaches in the kitchen when you flip on the light. I moved to get clear myself, and noticed a woman stuck in the middle of the road...with the "deer in the headlights" look. So as any noble soldier would do, I scooped her up under my arm (LITERALLY!) and got her out of the path of this boulder that was bearing down on us with all the fury of the meteor from the movie Armageddon.

Thank goodness no one was hurt. The rock hit the retaining wall, partially broke apart...and then flipped over to come to rest...RIGHT where we were standing only a second before.

The woman gasped, held my arms, looked at me, and was speechless. But I could see by the look on her face what she wanted to say. I glanced back over my shoulder to assure the coast was clear, and then turned my head back at her and said, "You're welcome".

When it happened, I didn't have time to think...I just reacted. I didn't care that I had "outed" myself to the crowd. Because there are things that are more important in life than PRIDE.

As it turned out...the traffic went back to one lane and we were right back to square one. Oh well, what's a girl to do?

I laugh about it now. I mean, I can't help but to laugh. I try not to take myself too seriously...and I think it helps me sleep at night. And since that day, I have actually practiced (in the privacy of my home) different types of high-volume vocal expressions. I've found that pushing the sound to the upper-most part of the back of my throat from the back of my lungs creates a reasonable "scream"...but I lock it away with a little tag on it that says, "For Emergency Use Only".

I admit that I have been fortunate to have a good voice for normal talking. That's probably attributed to my backround in professioinal shower-singing. But in today's world...the new millennium woman has GOT to be prepared for ANYTHING.

Thanks for reading,

The Girl 2 Doors Down

[postoplesbian]

`The hardest thing for me is still being single seeking true love with a sister who lives full time and is fairly passable and is over 38 and under 66 and wants a LTR not just --- Dec 8th i will be 10 yrs post op and well my last love another post op left me after i had my surgery. :(

[(deleted)]

postoplesbian wrote: `The hardest thing for me is still being single seeking true love with a sister who lives full time and is fairly passable and is over 38 and under 66 and wants a LTR not just --- Dec 8th i will be 10 yrs post op and well my last love another post op left me after i had my surgery.



good god

when the ---- did you pop in here?

-_-

go back to Susans!

[(deleted)]

Most difficult part for me of my ongoing transition is patience.
Whether it be my therapist or my gyno....I want everything now.
Each day goes by fast enough, but the anticipation of it all being done with is what causes a wee bit of anxiety.

Nina

[ronda4343]

nataliajane wrote: `I was bricking it telling my family but they have all been amazingly supportive I must admit the weirdest thing I find is guys holding doors open for me and letting me take their places in queues..now I just thank them and give em T&T (Teeth & t*ts!!)


I think this has been difficult for me too when I lived as a man I was always the polite one doing the door holding,seat pushing helping move things I've only been ft for 7 months and I still get surprised when a guy does this for me.On the other hand Ive also noticed the competitive nature of women trying to "get there first" when its woman to woman.I also struggle with family acceptance but most of that is them being in denial and I'm just waiting for them to come around if they ever do

[(deleted)]

`For me quite honestly, it was letting go and feeling not just comfortable with being perceived as a girl and passing pretty universally, but knowing what feminine mannerisms go where and when. It was really overcoming the awkwardness of being out in public as a girl at first which was the most difficult and scary.

After that, it was just doing my thing. I still don't really connect with my Father as he refuses to call me by my legal name (Natasha), but by my boy name; That too is not only difficult, but continues to be difficult and very awkward.

[capricastar]

`Hi Krazygrrl, I can relate with what you said about your father. Mine remains to be the most difficult part of the transition. He still calls me by my birth name which to me is a total disregard for who I really am. So I eventually laid down the law to him about that. He was so against me being a girl he pleaded with me to be a gay man.

Hang in there.

[(deleted)]

`talking to my therapist. i feel like i'm spending $100 dollars an hour to gossip.
that & i don't like when guys stare at my boobies. lol
:[

[(deleted)]

For me it was starting over with a new career. My employer at the time blacklisted me once the Emergency Room outed me to Human Resources. It took 4 years to get the job that did carry me through transition.

LynneaUrania

[bethhotcd]

Although I'm just a crossdresser in training.. Telling my family was hard but they totally understood and were totally supportive..I WAS LUCKY!!!But whats really hard for me is learning to walk and talk like a woman..